semi-sweet part duh

wow

2006-01-26T11:02:00.000-05:00

my brother just did some stuff to my computer. i'm not a nerd so i don't really know what, but whatever he did kicks ass because my 'puter has never run this fast. i haven't been able to even get blogger to load in the past month. but in the meantime, i moved back to dland. i'm really not sure which i like best. maybe i'll keep both. so, yeah, you can check me out at three times ten to see what i've written in the past couple of weeks. or not. toodles ~

annoyed

2006-01-10T14:36:00.000-05:00

for some reason my computer isn't letting me get to blogger to post an update. right now i'm waiting to help mama shower. hopefully i'll ba able to get back soon. toodles~

i just wanted to say...

2006-01-05T19:46:00.000-05:00

i am scared to death about tomorrow. that is all.

i probably won't post again until i get home from the hospital sometime tomorrow evening.

we could use all the good thoughts we can get if you guys have any to spare.

thursday rant

2006-01-05T15:53:00.000-05:00

it really annoys me when people win auctions on ebay and then don't pay. not only do they not pay, but they can't even be bothered to send an email and say, hey, i'm not going to pay for this, i'm just wasting your time.

so i end up having to wait two weeks or more to follow the dispute system before i can offer the item to another bidder or relist it. and i'm not totally heartless, i do understand that there are family emergencies and other extenuating circumstances. but still, even if you can't pay your phone or cable bill and you lose your internet service, go to the effing library for crying out loud and just send an effing email. when you bid on something you are entering a legal binding contract with another person, and when people don't pay the seller gets effed all over the place.

i'm annoyed so fuck is wanting to jump out of my mouth every other effing word and i'm trying to cut back on the cursing, which has gotten out of control lately.

anyway, so i'm effing pissed off at these two, yes T W O, buyers i have, who have not only not paid me but are not responding to the multiple emails sent by both myself and ebay and i'm just over these effers altogether. 90% of the time ebay is a wonderful thing and i make enough money to spend a little on cookie jars or books or maybe a clothing item here and there, but effers like this just ruin the whole experience for me.

anyway, i just took a deep breath and counted to ten so i should be okay now. sorry about that. so, tomorrow morning, six in the morning, we will be at the hospital. good times. i'm not 100% sure what time the actual surgery is but tomorrow is going to be a long day. thanks for all of the comments and emails sending good thoughts our way, we need them and they are much appreciated.

i think i'm going to go read my book and maybe take a nap. despite the fact that i have only been awake for a few hours. everyone else in the house is asleep too. toodles ~

happy tuesday and stuff

2006-01-03T20:43:00.000-05:00

so, today i went to wally world to pick up my contacts, which, of course, were not in. they are never in when they tell me that they are going to be in. but it's all good, the eye doc's office is right there and they just send me over a trial pair to last me until the shipment shows us.

anyway, so, i don't have glasses. when i went for my last eye appointment they just gave me my prescription for my contacts and sent me on my merry way. so today i asked the chick at the vision center what i had to do to get a prescription for glasses. she looked at me like i had three heads and was like, they didn't give you one when you went for your last exam? um, no. so she called back over the office and had them write a comparable prescription for me for glasses.

so, i picked out a cheap-o pair of silver frames and ordered a pair of glasses as a backup and they should be here within the next nine days. yay. i got contacts because i despised wearing glasses, but there are days when i can't wear my contacts, or just plain don't want to, so now i won't have to be blind just to run down to the store for a few minutes. good times. even with the cheap frames they are still costing me a pretty penny but it needs to be done and i have the money so i might as well do it before i spend the money on something else.

like an ab lounge. i want one of these things. i wanted one last year but didn't have the money to spend a hundred bucks on this thing. crunches are the one exercise i actually do on a regular basis. okay, semi- regular basis. but anyway, that's not the point. the point is, i want an ab lounge. i refuse to buy one, but i can lust after it i guess. right now we have them on sale for 99.99 plus with my discount, i'd save a whopping 9.99. but i'm sure we'll have them on sale for less at a later date, and if there is one left at that time, maybe i'll give in and buy one. for now, i'll just do my crunches on the floor.

so, i need to go to work. again, after three days off, i'm so not looking forward to it. plus, i only work two nights this week, tonight and tomorrow, so i'm not really in the mood to push freight. but mood or not, it has to be done, at least i got some decent sleep today. granted i had to take an allergy pill to be able to fall asleep, but my parents kicked up about thirty years worth of dust in the house today when they moved furniture and stuff and i actually woke up early this morning in the middle of having an asthma attack. good times. nothing like waking up and not being able to breathe and not know why.

but the new furniture arrangements are lovely and they are happy so it's all good in the end i guess. okay, i'm off to get ready for work. toodles ~

it's all too shocking

2006-01-02T18:19:00.000-05:00

this is my new myspace picture and i totally felt the need to share. why? because i love eddie izzard. that is all. toodles

i'm not going to wait for wadsworth here to unmask me...

2006-01-02T17:30:00.000-05:00

so my dad asked me today what i think about putting the christmas tree in a different place next year? wtf? i could not possibly care less about where the christmas tree sits next year, i'm just glad that it's over for this year. very weird.

he wants to move all of the furniture around in the living room this week. which is odd for two reasons, one, he and mama have about eleventy-billion doctors appointments between them this week, and two, we don't use that living room except for christmas so why do we need to move all of the furniture this week. very strange, he's just gotten some wild hair on his ass.

i was invited to a new years eve party the other night but being as everyone in the house is sick with the flu or sinus infections i decided to stay home. i piled up a bunch of movies that i wanted to watch and just watched movies all night. mama did the same in her room and will did the same in his room when he wasn't unconcious or in the bathroom. poor thing was sick as a dog. the only way i even knew it was midnight was the redneck idiots across the way started shooting their guns off in their backyard and i looked at the clock when i heard them.

daddy has some serious cookie jar picture taking to do. between the two of us, mama and i recieved over twenty cookie jars for christmas. nice. we need to do some rearranging around here too but that can be done later.

i've been feeling like shit for more than two weeks now. i wish i could just have a horrible twenty-four hour virus like daddy and will and then it would be over. this lingering sinus infection shit is kicking my ass. blah.

i haven't been eating very well, or very much at all, in the past few weeks and that is probably contributing to the fact that i'm feeling like crap. i need to take care of that. speaking of, i haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon. probably not good and may possibly explain why i'm feeling all squicky in the middle now.

i'm watching clue. this movie is so bad and tacky that it is awesome. like a hundred hot dogs...

toodles

welcome to 2006

2006-01-02T11:49:00.000-05:00

wow. so visits to my blog are down to a handful a day. pretty sad. but then, where i used to write multiple entries a day, i'm barely averaging one a day lately. it's weird but i'm just not feeling the blogging vibe.

mama's surgery is friday. today is her last day of work for the forseeable future.

that's all i really have at the moment. *sigh*

just for the record...

2005-12-30T20:20:00.000-05:00

spending eight hours scanning and marking down every single pair of panties in the store makes for a very l o n g night. just so you know. toodles ~

bitch bitch bitch

2005-12-29T18:50:00.000-05:00

so my dad is sick. and of course, he is the first man that has ever been sick in the history of the world. it's a fucking cold. get over yourself.

i've been sick for over a week now. no one is waiting on me hand and foot. no one is kissing my ass. i have worked every single night.

mama's car got vandalized at work last night so she needed a ride to work this morning. daddy was supposed to drive her. instead he told me, after i had just driven the twenty five miles from the store home after working my ass off all night, to drive her. yes, back those same twenty five miles to the same store i had just come from. as a matter of fact, he woke me up to tell me this. thanks dad. so i gave her my keys and told her to slow down in turns because my tracker will tip over if she drives it like she drives her pontiac. and i went back to bed and stayed there until an hour ago.

and now i'm going back until eight-thirty. that is the absolute latest i can sleep and still shower and stop and put gas in the car and still make it to work on time. good times. and toodles ~

happy hump day or i don't really know what day it is and i'm just guessing

2005-12-28T15:19:00.000-05:00

i woke up a little while ago. thanks to daddy and will being in the attic again, putting away the christmas lights.

i'm hungry so i thought i'd have a sandwich with the last of the leftover country ham from this weekend. then i noticed that there was a weird ~~stench~~ smell in the house. i had a sinking feeling that my plan for a ham sandwich had been thwarted.

so i went in the kitchen, where the smell is infinitely worse, only to find that daddy is cooking some kind of beans and put the last of my ham in the pot. *sigh* as a backup plan i was going to make some egg salad but i can't be in there where the smell is the strongest. so i think i'll head to wawa and get a sub.

then i can say i actually left me house today as well. good times. this entry sucks, so, i'm out. toodles ~

191 posts so far in six months

2005-12-27T19:49:00.000-05:00

so, yeah, christmas was good. christmas eve came off without a hitch, just as it always does. it felt a little hairy for a bit, especially when i was working my butt off on no sleep and i was sick after eating a very bad hamburger and daddy and will both decided that they needed naps. i was pulling my hair out at that point. but i got it all done, will woke up eventually and helped me and, most importantly, a good time was had by all.

i bailed on lunch at my aunt's house on sunday. i was still feeling very icky and basically i didn't want to go. so i stayed home and slept. and watched part of season one of the dukes of hazzard which was a gift from my brother. his gifts are awesome. he gave me the dukes, which i have been wanting for over a year now, he also gave me eddie izzard's glorious (you've seen this one suz, jeff and i had it on video and we brought it over once), the bewitched movie, and mystery men. oh, and sims 2 university. which of course means i've been back on the crack for the past few days.

mama goes in for her surgery on friday, january 6. she has to be in at six in the morning and she could be in anywhere from three days to three weeks, just depending on how fast she heals and how the chemo affects her. she had a meeting today with her plastic surgeon, her physical therapist, the nursing staff of the cancer wing, and blood work, x-rays, and an EKG. good times.

we are doing markdowns at work this week. everything in the friggin store just about is on clearance. come shop. please. anyway, so i need to get going and get ready for work. i slept pretty well today so i'm hoping i'm over whatever this has been that has been making my ears itch and my nose run and my temperature spike for the past couple of days. i haven't slept well in about a week and that's when the symptoms showed up in the first place. anyway, so, yeah, toodles ~

only 5 more days this year

2005-12-27T07:17:00.000-05:00

i hope everyone had a happy christmas or whatever you celebrate. i'm exhausted, it was a very very very long night, and i'm going to bed. i'll post a real update later. toodles ~

i need to borrow a couple of santa's elves

2005-12-22T18:25:00.000-05:00

ohmygod. i have so much left to do before saturday at five-thirty. eek. and i have to work tonight and tomorrow night.

i hate how i'm always doing so well early on. i get all of my shopping done except for a few minor things and then i start my wrapping early and i do the baking and so on and then, last minute, WHAM!

it sneaks up on me and i'm fucked because i still have presents to buy, i need to wrap over half of my gifts, the food for saturday night hasn't even been decided on, much less purchased. my sewing machine is still sitting smack dab in the middle of the dining room table. *sigh*

i have two hours now before i have to get ready to leave for work so it looks like i'm off to wrap presents so that will be finished. oh, except for the four presents i still have to buy tomorrow. i don't think i'm going to be getting much sleep tomorrow. oh well. it'll be worth it on saturday night when i ~~get hammered in order to~~ spend christmas with my family.

baby it's cold outside

2005-12-20T19:22:00.000-05:00

so, i've been off for the past three days, and now, the absolutely last thing in the world that i want to do is go back to work tonight. but, such is life. besides, i have four days to work and then i'm off again for another three, two of which are christmas eve and christmas.

yikes. christmas eve is in four days. wow. we have a lot to do. make that tons to do. we have all of the family over on christmas eve every year and we haven't even made a food list yet. maybe we should get started on that. ya think?

i bought the brothers grimm today. didn't watch all of it because i went to bed before it was over but it was good from what i saw. besides, heath ledger is in it. i could watch it just for that fact alone.

my cousins have all told me that they want to see the cookie jar collection when they come over for christmas eve, so that means i have to clean my room so that people can come in here. another yikes. i have ebay stuff spread hither and yon in here. i did buy a couple of big storage bin thingys today so i'm thinking i'm gonna fill them up and shove them in the bottom of my closet. then i just have to vacuum and make the bed and i'll be good.

so, yeah, i need to get ready to go to work. toodles ~

sadly, no watermelon martinis were had

2005-12-19T23:32:00.000-05:00

but bahama mama's were! yay for sweet and fruity girl drinks and good looking bartenders.

my cherry covered desk is gorgeous - you should be jealous

2005-12-19T18:43:00.000-05:00

okay, so the colts lost yesterday and that is sad. but, the redskins slaughtered the cowboys and that alone makes for an awesome football day.

so, yeah, i spent most of the day in bed with a nasty sinus headache and severe sore throat, but now i'm feeling way better. except for this lingering pain in my neck and the left side of my head which is basically my body's way of screaming at me, "ear infection! ear infection!" but i had some antibiotics left from a previous ear infection so i'm popping them and should be all fine and dandy shortly.

i had to go to tarshay tonight and return something and pick up a few last minute christmas thingies and of course while i was there it was a full on reunion festival. everytime i go in to shop i end up stopping to talk to a bunch of former co-workers and next thing i know i've been in the store for two hours when normally i would have been in and out in like twenty minutes. but it's all good cause i'm an attention whore and i love it that they miss me. sad but true.

so tonight i finally called my friend rin that i worked with at the t-word. she was like, have you been avoiding me or what? cause every time i go in the store she's off. but anyway, so we talked for a while and we're going out for drinks later this evening which will be good times.

one of my goals for the new year is to get the fuck out of my house more often. this hermit-ing myself in my room sucks and has resulted in my becoming socially retarded and this must end. so, i need to keep in touch with my friends and go the fuck out. so yeah, i'm going to work on that.

i hae watched charlie and the chocolate factory about seventy-two zillion times in the past 24 hours. why? because i am a dork and it is infinitely easier to just press play on the remote every time the movie ends than it is to stop what i'm doing, or, say, get out of bed, and take the movie out and then decide what i want to watch next and put that movie in and then go back to what i was doing, or, you know, crawl back under the covers. so yeah. good times. at least i really like this movie.

my dad just said, "is that gun loaded?" dear christ. my brother is cleaning his room and my dad is in there acting like a five year old and picking up everything and playing with it. my guess is he should stop before he shoots a fucking toe off.

yes, we are slightly redneck-ish 'round these parts.

so, yeah, i have tons of stuff that i should do in the next couple of hours before rin calls, but i don't want to do any of it, so, i'm thinking i'm gonna hit play again and crawl up under the covers with the junebug for a little snuggle before i head out to drink some watermelon martinis. toodles ~

one more hot man for the day

2005-12-18T19:45:00.000-05:00

chris cooley ~ yay for sexy redskins

and while i'm posting pictures of good looking football players, i have to include this picture of william "boogie" henderson of the packers. i went to high school with this guy and he rocks.

damn

2005-12-18T18:46:00.000-05:00

the colts lost.

oh, and i pissed off my dad and he just stomped out of the house and roared out of the driveway like a fool. but then, what's new? i piss him off pretty much daily anymore. everytime i so much as breathe he freaks out. and then he wonders why i stay in my room with the door closed all the time.

i've never been so glad that i skipped my high school reunion

2005-12-18T15:12:00.000-05:00

so, the wedding yesterday turned out to be a little mini high school reunion. and i have never been so glad that i skipped my 10 year reunion as i was last night as i was driving away from that church.

i sat with some people that i had been good friends with in high school, a couple that i had been acquaintances with in high school, and a girl that i had been good friends with until i started getting noticed by boys and then we had a falling out of sorts.

so, basically the entire evening was taken up by jessica talking about all the men she's been with in the past eleven years. all the guys she has slept with and all the times she's been engaged but then cheated with all of these other guys. etc etc etc. and every once in a while, she'd throw in a hidden, or not so hidden actually, insult aimed toward me. it was really very sad and pathetic.

she is actually the main reason i left so early. i made up an excuse about being tired, no sleep blah blah blah and left just to get away from her pathetic-itis in case it's contagious. i have enough pathetic of my own, i don't need to catch anther case thank you very much.

so, i'm cleaning my room. yeah, that usually involves checking out myspace and blogging about nothing. i dusted my dresser. and i cleaned the mirror. and i've washed one load of clothes. which probably need to go in the dryer right about now. toodles ~

hot guys in tight pants (just think of the google hits i'm gonna get)

2005-12-18T14:03:00.000-05:00

i just finished covering the top of my desk with contact paper covered with cherries. nifty.

so, it's sunday and there is nothing but football on in our den. not that i have a problem with football. i personally love football. really. and i'm not just saying that because there are dudes in tight pants and stuff.

but, since there are dudes in tight pants, here are a few of my favorites...

tom brady is actually one of my least favorite football players, but he's still kind of hot

mmmmmm, peyton manning...

now, this picture could inspire some interesting fantasies...

mark brunell, 'nuff said.

i'm a dumbass

2005-12-17T18:37:00.000-05:00

so, i went to a wedding today for a guy i was friends with in school. actually, he was one of my early bo-friends. anyway, whilst i was there, i saw another guy i went to school with whom i had a humongeous crush on for like seven years. i talked to him for just a second as i was leaving the reception and then he followed me out into the parking lot.

turned out he was parked next to me.

he wasn't leaving cause it was still early and he is in the wedding party, but he waved at me and i waved back and as i was backing out of my parking space he turned around and looked like he was going to stop me or say something but then he didn't.

so, stalker woman that i am, i came home and looked him up on whitepages.com and he lives about five or ten minutes from me.

anyway, dork that i am, i totally should have talked to him. i know he's single and after a conversation we had once in college i know he used to also have a ginormous crush on me too.

but, i didn't talk to him and now i'm looking at his address and phone number written on a piece of paper and it does me no good whatsoever.

i am such a dork.

woohoo! or, i'm such a dork

2005-12-16T20:49:00.000-05:00

twelve sharp, the twelfth book in janet evanovich's stephanie plum series, will be released in hardback on june 20, 2006. just in time for my birthday, yay me.

i'm not sure this is a good thing...

2005-12-16T18:52:00.000-05:00

You Are 17 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

a merry christmas survery...

2005-12-16T09:55:00.000-05:00

i stole this from the lovely suzanne. i'm tagging you all, post it. or not, whatever. i'm not feeling very forceful today.

1.Do you have a real or fake Christmas Tree? fake

2. Do you put up Christmas lights on the exterior of your home? i don't put them up, but daddy had a blast this year and put lights on damn near everything that didn't move out of the way.

3. What's your favorite Christmas song/carol? after listening to christmas music every night at work, i'm totally over christmas carols. i could go with frosty the snowman i guess.

4. What do you like better turkey or ham? turkey turkey turkey

5. Do you open up any Christmas presents on Christmas Eve? we have our extended family over on christmas eve so we open presents from all the aunts and uncles and cousins and such. we also open one gift from my parents on christmas eve, after everyone has gone home and it's just the four of us again.

6. Have you ever been Christmas Caroling? many many many years ago.

7. What was your most memorable Christmas gift(s) that you received? i still remember tons of stuff that i got as a kid. but i guess my most memorable one was the christmas that i got my first bicycle. i was four or five and there was about a foot or so of snow so i couldn't go outside and ride so instead i spent the entire day riding in circles through the den and kitchen and dining room and living room. that was also the last christmas my grandpa was alive.

8. What's your favorite Christmas movie? a christmas story !!

9. Have you ever built a real Snow-Man? of course

10. Have you ever peeked into a present and found out what it was before Christmas? duh. of course i have

11. What is on the top of your Christmas tree? a snowman. our tree is decorated with a bunch of christmas stuffed animals.

12. Do you own a Santa hat? no

13. When was the last time you had your picture taken with Santa Claus? i suggested to will yesterday when we were at the mall that we should get our picture taken with santa and give it to mama but we so didn't and i think probably the last time we did have our picture done we must have been around ten or so.

14. Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? almost finished except for one or two minor things.

15. Do you put candy canes on your Christmas Tree? um, no.

16. Who is hardest person to buy for? my dad and my brother

17. Who is the easiest person to buy for? my mama

18. How old were you when you realized Santa was imaginary? santa is what?

19. What does your morning of Christmas routine consist of? we get up and open our presents and then do our stockings. then we get dressed in comfy pajama-like clothes and go over to my cousins house, just a few streets over, and have a christmas morning breakfast and watch her two boys open their presents.

20. Egg nog? um, no

21. What do you want for Christmas this year? for everyone to have a good time

my bed is calling my name

2005-12-14T22:50:00.000-05:00

so, out of the past twenty four hours, i have worked almost sixteen of them. then, if you add in the thirty minutes it takes me to drive each way, that's another two hours. no wonder i'm dead on my feet. but i'm off until ten'o'clock friday night so yay.

i haven't read any diaries in the past couple of days. since monday i think. anyway, i'll catch up tomorrow. for now, i am so going to bed. toodles

i'm feeling like a productive member of society and everything

2005-12-13T17:20:00.000-05:00

so, in may i will have another bill paid off. woohoo. it's actually the last bill that ties me to my ex-husband. then i can focus on the bills that tie me to the ex-bastard.

i just set up my next six payments with the credit company and in just 24 more weeks i will be free of them calling my house wanting their damn money. yay. and, i just wrote my check for my car payment for january. yes, it is still december. i know, i'm shocked too! and i mailed my other credit card payment for december off today, a full two weeks before it is due. and, i totally paid my mom four hundred bucks the other day. damn. of course, none of this would be possible if it weren't for the fact that target fired me and i got to cash out my 401k. and yes, i know, i'm going to pay penalties, but i did what i needed to do. can you tell i have a father? lol

so, yeah, i'm tired. other than that, there really isn't much to impart. oh, our float won a prize in the christmas parade the other night. i don't know which one, first, second, or third, but my cousin will be going to the award thingy tonight and she's going to call me and tell me on her way home. so yay us.

so, yeah, my hours are getting cut big time now that christmas is almost over so i need to buckle down and find a full time job somewhere. preferrably somewhere that does not involve retail but we shall see.

i accidentally fell asleep this morning with my contacts in and now my eyes are all dry and itchy. i took them out a few minutes ago but i'll be putting them back in in less than four hours so my eyes will probably bother me most of the night. good times. or i could just do without them. if i didn't have to drive so far in the dark to get to work i totally would, but, seeing as i am even more blind now than i was a few months ago i think i'll pass.

so, yeah. toodles

my new crush is TV

2005-12-11T21:58:00.000-05:00

so, i have discovered in the past couple of days that i am not the only woman in the world who thinks that eddie izzard is hot. like, i don't care that he wears women's panties, i'd still totally shag him kind of hot. so, i thought i'd share some picures of my newest, and only transvestite, crush.

i love this picture for reasons i cannot explain

okay, so he looks a bit like stockard channing in this one...

looking all serious and sexy

my makeup never looks this fucking good

he has great legs. and walks better on heels than i ever could.

okay, so he isn't people's sexiest man of the year, but he's still pretty hot. at least i think so. *shrugs*

just a little pick-me-up

2005-12-10T20:34:00.000-05:00

so, i have a migraine and i'm sitting here trying to decide whether or not i am going to call in to work tonight. i am thinking yes. right now it feels as if someone is stabbing me in the left eye with a nail. that is not a good thing. so. just in case i'm not the only person out there not feeling their best, i thought i'd post a little pick-me-up. toodles ~

i'm warning you again...

2005-12-08T07:29:00.000-05:00

thank god my period finally started yesterday. seriously, it's a miracle that no one in my family has been killed in the last week. actually, it's mostly a miracle that no one in my family has killed me in the last week. i have been such a horrendous hormonal crazed psycho bitch in the past seven to ten days. sheesh. i couldn't even fucking stand myself.

i had about an hour worth of sleep yesterday before going to work last night. it sucked. it was a very bad day full of my dad having the tv turned up so loud it was like trying to sleep in the middle of a commonwealth 20, my aunt and uncle, who are both practically deaf, showing up unannounced and having a shouting match in the living room with my aunt literally screaming at my uncle to be quiet because i was sleeping, my dad ringing the doorbell over and over and over again to get the dogs' attention, and my mom waking me up every five minutes or so to ask me if it was time for me to get up yet. so, yeah, not such a good day.

i stopped at mickey d's on the way home and got a bacon egg and cheese biscuit which i just ate while playing spider solitaire and now i am off to bed for what i hope is a nice uninterrupted day of sleep. we shall see though. mama is off today and she very well may decide she needs to vacuum all day like she did last week.

i was in a christmas parade tuesday night. it was much fun except for the fact that it was beyond fucking cold and i was outside non-stop from noon until eleven that night. actually, once i lost feeling in my fingers and toes it wasn't so bad. we have another one coming up on sunday afternoon but i have to work saturday night so i may not make it to that one. it'll depend on how much sleep it get on saturday before i go in and whether or not my hormones are still raging. we shall see.

so, yeah. i'm going to bed now. g'night ~

yay

2005-12-05T09:31:00.000-05:00

so, it's snowing it's butt off here. good times. big honking flakes too. we are only supposed to get like four inches but i'm just happy to see the snow finally. only, now, i have to drive in it. so, yeah, toodles ~

migraine morning

2005-12-05T05:17:00.000-05:00

so i went over and helped my cousin yesterday, prepare the float for the christmas parade for the cheerleading squad i'm coaching next year. they are in two parades this week, one tuesday and one sunday so we spent several hours yesterday getting things taken care of. it was fun and the float is going to look great once we get all of the pieces put together on tuesday evening.

she bought one of those eight foot tall inflatable snowmen and we made a football jersey for him in the teams colors with his name on the back and the team name on the front. frosty is going to sit at the front of the trailer and at the back we have a huge goalpost made out of pvc pipe. i sewed a big football out of felt and we stuffed it like a pillow and we are going to suspend it in mid-air with fishing wire so that it looks like frosty kicked a field goal.

i'm excited, it's going to be a lot of fun. i'll get to meet part of my squad for the first time at the parade and it will be a good way to judge attitudes and certain skills like playing to the crowd and such. the first coaches meeting is already scheduled for january and i am really looking forward to it.

so, i'm out. toodles.

i'm warning you now...

2005-12-04T12:51:00.000-05:00

please dear lord let my period start as soon as humanly possible. if it doesn't, i think my head, my boobs, and my uterus may just explode.

have a good day.

it appears that i am physically unable to sleep at night anymore

2005-12-03T04:19:00.000-05:00

so, i'm "spring" cleaning my room tonight. i'm trying to be as quiet as possible seeing as it's almost four-thirty in the morning and i don't want to wake the entire family up.

i have now tried everything i can think of to sleep at night on my nights off but nothing has worked so i give up. i will simply continue to do what i've been doing and be awake at night. i was awake most of the day today so i got some things done, errands run and stuff, and now i'm throwing away junk that i've been packratting for the past couple of months.

i'm getting real tired of the bitches on eBay always wanting to complain about something, so i'm winding down my selling. i will still sell some things, things that i know are easily sold and that people can't bitch about too much, like books. i don't want to quit selling altogether as i use the money i earn to finance the purchase of cookie jars and dvds. i'm just tired of people complaining, shipping is too high, shipping is too slow, i don't like the box you used, blah blah blah. i figure, you're getting a $40 skirt for a quarter, i ship immediately, it's not my fault that the usps is slow, shut the hell up. but maybe that's just the bitch in me peeking out.

so, i have a nice to do list for today that i need to get done no later than two so that i can get to bed for a few hours.

~~laundry: wash, dry, fold,~~ put away
~~post office: ship items, buy stamps~~
~~bank: cash money orders~~
~~the dump: take house trash~~
vacuum bedroom (i hate to vacuum)
~~put new mattress pad on bed~~
~~wash duvet cover~~
dust corners of ceiling (where the fuck did those cobwebs come from!)
dining room: put away sewing machine and other sewing paraphanalia
living room: take down pictures from stereo and antique sewing desk and put up daddy's santa collection
shopping: buy - daddy beavis and butthead dvd, junebug toy vacuum cleaner, ~~drink,~~ pretzels, graham crackers, wheat bread, eggs, pam spray, ~~quart of oil~~
~~fill car up with gas (1.95!)~~
~~haircut (maybe - haven't decided yet)~~

i think that's about it. acutally, that's not true. i'm sure there is plenty more but that's all that i can think of right now. i'm off to cuddle with my junebug. i've run out of steam and it's 4:30 now so i can snooze for a couple of hours before i need to get up and get all of this done.

damn, this is the most exciting blog you've ever read. toodles ~

boobie update

2005-12-01T19:03:00.000-05:00

mama will be having both breasts removed within the coming months. she met with her surgeon today and between him, mama and daddy, they decided that due to the high risk that she carries of having the cancer reoccur, it will be best to simply remove both breasts, rather than have to worry about it coming back or developing in the right breast later. she will be meeting with her plastic surgeon in a week or so to set up the details of having her implant surgery after the double mastectomy and chemotherapy treatment. she may still have to undergo some radiation in addition to the chemo if the cancer has spread to any lymph nodes.

we will both be undergoing genetic testing in the coming months as well. if i have the genetic markers for breast cancer, it is recommended that i also have a double mastectomy.

thanks again for all of the comments and emails. kathy, your thoughts and sweet comments are plenty. they are doing me a world of good so thank you. if there is anything you can do i will certainly let you know and thank you so much for the offer. night ~

i hate thinking of titles

2005-11-30T20:53:00.000-05:00

so, today when mama got to work one of the ladies that she works with told her that when they got off of work today she was taking mama to get her hair cut as a treat. it looks really good and mama is very happy with it. it's nice to see her smile about something. all of the associates in the store have apparently been talking about what they can do for her and for the rest of us and the haircut today was the first part. our friend mary told me today when i went up there for a few minutes that they are all planning to take turns making meals and freezing them for us. then they will bring them to work on their "scheduled" day and put them in the freezer in the breakroom so that i can take them home after i get off of work. and there are more tricks up their sleeves i'm sure.

it's awesome to see how supportive the entire store is being.

tomorrow is her appointment with the surgeon so i suppose we will know more then.

i called my mom's brother in north carolina yesterday to tell him and ask him to tell their sister as i don't have her phone number and she's not listed. he was at work but i talked to his wife who said she would tell him and he would be calling mama she was sure. yeah right. russell hasn't talked to mama since september of 2001 when he called and yelled at mama, berating her, telling her she had been a horrible daughter and much much more that i just don't want to get into. anyway, i had been told by other members of the family that he was apparently looking to patch things up, so i thought for sure he would want to know that his sister had been diagnosed with cancer.

wrong. apparently he doesn't really give a shit. which is alright. if that's the way he feels then what can you do right? but i won't be calling him again. i won't waste my time or energy, it will be needed elsewhere. and i'll just try to find some other way to contact my aunt. or not. she knows our number, she could call here on occasion if she'd like.

blah. i have to go to work now. have a lovely hump-day evening ~

we're just a little bit special

2005-11-30T04:51:00.000-05:00

eddie izzard needs to be cast as something in one of the remaining harry potter films. why? cause i fucking said so.

my favorite color is the radio

2005-11-30T02:13:00.000-05:00

so, i'm off tonight. so i came home this morning and slept for two hours. then i got up and went to do some shopping. so far i have two gifts for my mom and my dad's birthday gift. i have no idea what to get daddy for christmas. or will for that matter. not to mention my aunt and uncle and cousins. *sigh* i used to be pretty good at picking out gifts but not so much anymore.

so, i was gone about an hour and a half and was so exhausted when i got home that i fell asleep sitting on the couch in the middle of a conversation with my dad. so i decided a nap was in order. except that i never did fall asleep. instead i lay here for like three hours reading my book. then we had dinner and will and i went to the bookstore for a little while and wandered a bit.

by the time we got home i was dead on my feet and i officially went to bed at six in the evening. which meant, of course, that i woke up at one thirty and am now wide awake. again. good times.

wow, i just reread those three paragraphs, and it hit me, i have absolutely nothing to say. nothing that i want to get into anyway. i do have things to say but i'm avoiding those topics tonight. i'm not in the mood to think. maybe another day. so i guess i'm out. maybe i'll go see what movies are on indemand. toodles ~

he swung a brick at my head

2005-11-28T20:49:00.000-05:00

just one more little note before i run out of the house and off to unload another truck full'o'stuff for ya'll to buy, anyway, thanks for all of the great emails and notes that ya'll have sent me in the past week about mama's diagnosis. they have been wonderful and i really appreciate them all. i have tried to reply back to them all but i know there are still a few that i need to reply to. mama has her first appointment with her surgeon on the first so i will certainly update about what he tells us at that time. thanks again for all of the kind words, well wishes, and good vibes sent our way. (((hugs)))

his mama dropped him on his head

2005-11-28T20:39:00.000-05:00

so, i came home from work this morning feeling wide awake. i tried to go to sleep and ended up reading for two hours. so at nine thirty i got up and got dressed and went to the post office to ship a few things that sold on ebay yesterday. i was hoping that by the time i got home i'd be tired enough to sleep. nope. so mama gave me one of her pain pills. they knock her flat unconcious. not so for me. it made me high as a kite. i laughed and laughed and laughed. but i didn't sleep. finally, about three hours after i took it, it made me sleepy. now it's time to go to work and do it all over again. of course, tomorrow i'm off so i'll be wishing i could stay awake tomorrow so i could have a "normal" night. but i'll be lucky if i'm still awake by the time i get home. have a lovely night ~

why?

2005-11-27T20:21:00.000-05:00

why does my father feel the need to be a complete and utter asshole every single waking second of the day? why does he think he is totally hilarious when in fact he is a smartass of epic proportions?

a bunch of nothin'

2005-11-27T19:23:00.000-05:00

there is a forklift company a few miles from my house and i pass it on my way to work every night. out front they have a big sign and it has that space at the bottom where they can change it to say whatever they want it to say. right now, it says, "breast cancer awareness - the breast you save may be your own." i smile every time i pass it.

my boss at work quit the other week. she put in her two weeks notice and her last day (night) was going to be this coming week. so we all decided we were going to have a going away party and everybody bring food and stuff for us to have on our breaks and lunch in the middle of the night. so then last night, she told us that last night was her last night and she wasn't going to work the rest of her notice. so we decided to all bring food and party this week anyway. good times.

i love my job. really. but i am so fucking tired. oh yeah, and i hurt. everywhere.

i woke up today to find my dad cleaning out his closet in the bedroom and out from under my parents bed. i must say, i was shocked. this is the man who won't lift a finger to wash a dish unless the entire sink is overflowing. unless of course he needs a dish that is in the sink and then he'll take that one dish out, wash it, use it, and put it back in the sink. so, in the end, he ended up cleaning out two closets and under his side of the bed and then he actually got started on mama's side of the bed but i went back to sleep so i don't know how far he got with that. weird.

in other news, my tummy hurts.

today is the one year anniversary of my grandma's passing. will and i went to the cemetary on thanksgiving to put new flowers on the gravestone. as we were leaving, i was carrying the old flowers, will saw a bundle of big pink cabbage roses just laying on the ground. they weren't near any graves so he picked them up and suggested that we find a grave with no flowers to put them on. so we turned around and walked a bit and then we came to three identical gravestones. three sisters, all died in 1965 within 30 days of each other. they were 5, 4, and 2. very strange. their parents gravestone was right next to theirs and their dad died in 1969 and their mother died in 2002. there were flowers on the parents' grave but none on any of the daughters so will put the roses on the middle grave and i split the bunch of flowers i had and put some on the other two girls. it made me feel kind of good.

i miss my grandma.

i know there was other stuff i was going to say but as it has since disappeared from my mind, i guess i'll just say toodles for now.

i need a pedicure

2005-11-25T19:29:00.000-05:00

so being off for that past two days has completely fucked my schedule. but i go back to work tonight so yay. can you believe i actually just said that?

i do need to hurry and find another job though. i'm not going to be able to do this forever. i like it, but just the very thought of going in there after the crowd i saw in that store this morning and pushing freight for eight straight hours has my back crying in pain.

and no, i so did not shop this morning. but, today was payday so i had to drag my happy ass to the store and fight my way back to customer service to pick up my paycheck. only to find out that my direct deposit had gone through a week early. good times.

i ran into my manager while i was in there and she asked me if i was shopping. um, no. and this is so why i work nights.

i woke up with a massive headache. it doesn't feel like a migraine, more just a pain in the ass headache so i took some fake tylenol stuff and i'm hoping that it gets itself under control before too long. i can't be having this if i've got to work all night.

once again i am behind on my diary reading. this time it's because i've been sucked in completely by myspace. *sigh* because i needed something else to obsess over. i realize that i have totally rambled on here but now i need to get ready for work. i have to leave early because i have to stop and put gas in the car. so, have a lovely night. ~

borrowed entry

2005-11-25T01:01:00.000-05:00

so, tonight catpewk did a guest entry over at the lovely miss pea's and i am going to copy and paste it here for the benefit of my readers. the few, the proud. lol i'm not copying it for lack of anything of my own to say, well, sort of, but because i thought it was an awesome entry. so, here ya go, a list of things that catpewk has learned in the past 41 and 3/4 years...

♥Most people don't do things they believe to be wrong.
♥A person is intelligent. People are stupid.
♥If God exists, he does not give a rat's ass what we do here. Do you care what games your children play with one another? They're just games....
♥There may be a way to establish a permanent spiritual connection for everyone one. But I don't know what it is. I am fairly sure however, I know what it is not.
♥God does not care whether or not I give 10% of my Salary to tele-evangelists. Only tele-evangelists do.
♥Tithe-ing is another name for buying the services of someone whose job it is to tell you what they believe, so they you have to dick with it.
♥Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math.
♥Access to information has gotten better over the last ten years.
♥People have gotten stupider and more apathetic over the last ten years.
♥It is enough to die an honorable man or woman...
♥...but it may not be enough to feed your family.
♥Never play cards with anyone whose first name is a city.
♥If you are reading this, then however bad you think your life is, I guarantee you it is nothing compared to how bad most of the world has it.
♥One of the reasons our sons and daughters die and get injured more frequently in foreign wars is because we pitched a fit about how badly they were getting treated when the military was teaching them in how to survive, and so the training programs got toned down.
♥Another reason our sons and daughters die and get injured is because we don't pitch a fit in a meaningful way when our governments do things they shouldn't.
♥What you believe is morally right, does not make it right. In England the age of consent is 16. In the US it is 18. Who is right? Cheeseburgers are consumed at an alarming rate in the West. Eating Beef is immoral in India. Who is right? Little boys have their genitals mutilated routinely at birth in the US. Little girls have theirs mutilated at birth in some arab countries. Who is right?
♥Anyone who gets mad when you question their faith, doesn't really have any.
♥Anger and Hate are both forms of Fear.
♥Love is all you need. If you have love, problems don't seem so important.
♥You cannot buy love. But you can rent it at quite reasonable rates in Nevada and Amsterdam.
♥Guns don't kill people. People with guns kill people.
♥No one has the right to tell you how to live, or what to believe.
♥By the same token, no one has to hang around you if you choose to be an asshole.
♥We are expected to accept to many things on the word of people who would benefit personally from lying to us.
♥You have a brain. Use it. "I don't know" should only be used to answer questions such as "What is in this hot dog?".
♥If your moral viewpoint contradicts a local statute, then take comfort in the 11th Commandment.
♥Thou Shalt remember the 11th commandment and keep it holy.
♥The 11th commandment is don't get caught.
♥If you research the other 10 commandments, you will be suprised to find they are not what you have been brought up to believe they are.
♥Sometimes, it is okay to be imprisoned for your beliefs. Unless your belief was that the security guard was asleep.
♥If you're pissed off at someone or something, don't take it out on someone else.
♥Don't take things that aren't yours.
♥Take a nap when you need one.
♥Put things back where you got them from.
♥Don't write endless lists on diaryland for no apparent reason.
♥Oops...

i hope that catpewk and chickpea both take this as a form of flattery so go check out their diaries and give them some love. oh, except catpewk is currently re-working her page and so it isn't really up yet. but give her some time and then go check it out.

toodles

yay for turkey sandwiches

2005-11-24T20:13:00.000-05:00

you know, there is nothing like a holiday to remind me how much i actually dislike most of the people that i love.

wtf?

2005-11-24T16:10:00.000-05:00

i'm not sure how i ended up as the number one website listed in the search for "cindy dog porn" but i did.

the should bottle that stuff

2005-11-24T04:38:00.000-05:00

when you are feeling a bit, or a lot, depressed, and nothing seems to make you smile, simply find some pictures of the world's sexiest man in which he is showing his tummy. believe me, that smile happens all by itself.

if you don't want to take my word for it, just scroll down some. just until you hit that first black and white picture of him down there with his arm behind his head. it's not even a lot of tummy, just a peek.

apparently, a peek is enough.

dealing

2005-11-23T21:18:00.000-05:00

so, the shock has worn off a bit now. we still don't have a lot of important information, such as how widespread the cancer is or anything like that. there will of course be more tests. mama will be in pain for a while longer. she will have to endure things that i would give anything for her to not have to deal with.

this is of course the second time that mama has had to tell us that one of our parents has cancer. it's not fair, to them or to us. i'm angry even though i've been here before and i know that being angry will do no good. cancer doesn't care if it hits both parents, it doesn't care or understand fair. it's just that after what mama went through with daddy she shouldn't have to deal with this.

but she will. and we'll be there for her through it all like we were with daddy and we'll come out better and stronger on the other side. thanks for the emails and comments. have a happy thanksgiving. toodles ~

give thanks for what?

2005-11-23T17:32:00.000-05:00

mama was diagnosed with breast cancer today.

sweet dreams

2005-11-22T20:24:00.000-05:00

so, i'm fixing to leave for work, and i figured since i got a few nice comments on the picture i posted earlier today, that i'd show you all how much i love you and post a few more for ya. have sweet dreams tonight guys. lol toodles ~

edit:this one and this one were messing the layout up so i had to remove them but you can go directly to the links and drool, i mean, check them out. night ~

i don't know if he's really the world's sexiest man...

2005-11-22T14:02:00.000-05:00

one word... yum.

you'll shoot your eye out!

2005-11-21T19:46:00.000-05:00

so, it's raining. has been all day. driving to work is going to suck because i just really (rilly rilly) hate driving in the rain.

i watched a christmas story today. that's viewing number one so far this season. i typically watch it dozens of times between thanksgiving and christmas. i love that movie. i was getting ready to go to bed this afternoon and decided to watch it before i fell asleep. i did a little christmas shopping this morning so i was feeling the need to see ol' ralphie boy.

i need to go get ready for work. i like my job. i enjoy it even. and i don't particularly dread going to work every day. but, with the rain and all, i could totally just curl up under the blankets, turn the dvd player back on, and watch ralphie a few more times and be happy. but, ralphie won't pay the bills so it's off to work i go.

have a good night. toodles ~

just a quick blurb

2005-11-21T02:02:00.000-05:00

i think that GOF is my favorite harry potter movie so far. yes, it was more dark than previous movies, but then, cedric died for crying out loud. of course it was dark. however, it was just funny up until time to go in the maze. it did move fast and of course, things were left out and other things were changed, but it had to be done in order to make the movie not be twenty seven hours long. of course, i can't say i'd be opposed to a twenty seven hour long harry potter movie. of course, i'm an idiot with no life.

in other news, a boy i went to high school with was killed in iraq this week. well, i say boy, but i suppose i should say man. thomas matthew thomas was killed when his convoy came under attack on nov 17. he was 29. i knew him as matt, others knew him as tom-tom. he was a nice guy with a great sense of humor. he played football and was part of the same little "clique" as me for a few years. i hadn't seen him in over ten years but i remember him as a guy who always had a smile on his face and a joke to tell. he will be missed.

g'morning

2005-11-20T07:24:00.000-05:00

just got home from work. going to see harry potter at 11:30 so i will be taking a short nap. we have to be home in time to watch the race. it's the last one until february and i want to watch tony stewart win the championship. *crosses fingers* i hope i didn't just jinx it. toodles ~

now i have to share a bathroom again

2005-11-19T16:48:00.000-05:00

so, after eight years in the military, the prodigal son has returned.

he's been home less that twenty-four hours and has already hurt feelings all around. both me and my mom have cried thanks to his shitty attitude and nasty remarks and daddy retreated to his work shed to hide.

i can only hope that he moves out soon before someone gets hurt.

how convienent...

2005-11-18T20:32:00.000-05:00

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom

What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

i have better hair

2005-11-18T17:19:00.000-05:00

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

it's thursday right?

2005-11-17T12:44:00.000-05:00

so, i went a little overboard with the blogthings last night. hmmm, you'll have to forgive me, but they are fun. not fun in a whee this is a good time sort of way. more like, i have nothing better to do so this isn't too bad sort of way. or not.

tonight on A&E, they are showing a harry potter special at ten. normally i would be hitting the theaters at midnight with my folks and my cousins but i have to work tonight and mama has to go in early in the morning so we aren't going tonight. i'm not off again until sunday i think so maybe we'll be able to go then.

actually, i don't know when i'm off again. i should look into that tonight when i go it. exciting entry isn't it? maybe i should just go back to blogthings. toodles ~

this night shift stuff is killing me on my nights off

2005-11-17T02:58:00.000-05:00

so, i came home from work this morning (yesterday morning?) at seven and went to bed around eight. mama woke me up at about quarter after eleven because she had an appointment up at mcv/vcu for another mammogram and a biopsy on her boob. yeah, again.

anyway, so no results on the biopsy, actually she had two, until next wednesday but we were there for ever and ever and didn't leave until after four in the afternoon. at which time i was so tired i was wide awake. i know that makes no sense, just bear with me here.

so we stopped on the way home and picked up some lunch/dinner and came home, ate and then she took a pain pill and went to bed and i essentially just passed out fully clothed on my bed.

i slept until eleven thirty, at which time i woke up, bright eyed and bushy tailed. i really hate that phrase. anyway, now, it's three in the morning and i just ate because two-thirty in the morning is my lunch time and i was hungry. i'm tired but i'm also just friggin awake and it's driving me nuts. if i don't go to bed soon though i will sleep all day tomorrow and not get anything done all day. of course, i need to sleep tomorrow so that i won't be exhausted tomorrow night.

really, figuring out a sleeping and eating schedule while working nights should not be this fucking hard.

quizzes and surveys and stuff oh my!

2005-11-17T01:12:00.000-05:00

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Your 1920's Name is:

Tessie Gregoria

What's Your 1920's Name?

Meatball Pizza

Unusual and uncompromising.
You're usually the first to discover a new trend.
You appreciate a good meal and good company.
You're an interesting blend of traditional and modern.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

Your Musical Tastes Match: Nicole Kidman

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

What Celebrity Matches Your Taste in Music?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You have a passion for everything - including sleeping.
Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well.
You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers.
You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Grey Crystal

Your Superpower is Electrocution

Your Weakness is Cowboys

Your Weapon is Your Mind Armor

Your Mode of Transportation is Hang Glider

What's your Superhero Name?

Your Pimp Name Is...

Luscious Glider

What's Your Pimp Name?

You Are a Mai Tai

You aren't a big drinker, but you'll drink if the atmosphere is festive.
And when you're drunk, watch out! You're easily carried away.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh.
You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum.

Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Keilana Kalama

What's your Hawaiian Name?

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

What Your Underwear Says About You

You tend to buy new underwear instead of doing laundry.

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You Are

An Angry Pumpkin Face

You would make a good smashed pumpkin.

What's Your Pumpkin Face?

Your Monster Profile

Creepy Worm

You Feast On: Armadillos

You Lurk Around In: The Hearts of Men

You Especially Like to Torment: Republicans

What's Your Monster Name?

Your Outrageous Name is:

Anita Beaver

Outrageous Name Generator

Your Daddy Is OJ

What You Call Him: Pops

Why You Love Him: He's your sugar daddy

Who's Your Daddy?

Your Inner Retro Girl Is

1950s Domestic Diva

What Retro Girl Are You?

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

John Stamos

Who's Your 80's Heartthrob?

You Are a Tomboy

You're having too much fun to bother with nail polish and crazy diets.
Guys are instead impressed by how much you know and do!

How Girlie Are You?

You Are a Passionate Kisser

You are the most likely type to kiss a sexy stranger

Your kissing style is unpredictable and free spirited

You could kiss anyone at a drop of a hat

It's all about where your passion leads you

What's Your Kissing Style?

Your Candy Heart Is "WHAT EVA"

Valentine's Day makes you a little sick

And not just from eating too much candy

You're opposed to the commercial celebration of couple-dom

It's not all about love - and love is not all about overpriced flowers!

What Candy Conversation Heart Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

You are Barefoot!

You're a total free spirit, go with the flow girl

You can't be restricted by shoes for very long

And unsuprisingly, the same goes for men

Your match is out there - and he's as carefree as you are

What Shoe Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

much love to the KOTB lol

2005-11-17T00:01:00.000-05:00

Two Names You Go By
1. cindy
2. sue's daughter

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. irish
2. welsh

Two Things That Scare You
1. relationships
2. the dark

Two Everyday Essentials
1. at least one mt dew
2. cigarettes though i wish that one weren't essential

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. my pj's
2. a scrunchy thing in my hair

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (as of now)
1. the beatles
2. tori amos

Two Things You Want in a Relationship
1. affection
2. honesty

Two Truths
1. don is one deep dude
2. my fucking lip hurts

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You
1. eyes
2. smile/mouth/teeth

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. for my parents to be healthy
2. to not be lonely forever

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. ireland
2. the beach, any beach

First Love /last love
1. judah
2. books

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. to have been published
2. to have a family

happy tuesday or something

2005-11-15T18:33:00.000-05:00

i went to that w-place today to get my contacts refilled. while i was there i also needed to purchase advil. $60 later and i walk out with no fucking advil. but i did get two rolls of packaging tape, a nifty water bottle, two notebooks to be given to my friend's daughter for her birthday (they are cheer related), a new wallet for a buck, a matching change purse for a buck, and a new checkbook cover-ey thing for three bucks. oh, and two books and some gum and a bottle of shampoo, a twofer pack of toothpaste, and a reese's cup. because i can't resist the reese's cup. *sigh* i am such an impulse shopper.

but really, i feel justified in blaming it all on the optical department. when i went in to get my contacts refilled it turned out that the only kind of contact that they were out of was the one i needed. of course. and of course the eye doc's people were at lunch, so in order to get a sample pair of contacts i had to hang around for an hour.

so i wandered for an hour waiting to be able to go pick up my contacts and in that time i randomly threw junk into my cart. and forgot to go pick up a stupid bottle of advil. now my face is throbbing and i need to take a pain reliever and of course there is none to be found at all in this stupid house so i'm going to have to stop at the gas station on the way to work in a bit and buy some and that little tiny bottle of like four pills will cost me as much as the big bottle i would have bought today if i were not an idiot.

suddenly i am in a very bad mood. i think i'll go lay down for a bit more and maybe i'll get up in a better mood. night

bloggity blog

2005-11-15T12:06:00.000-05:00

it has been 69 days since i last updated my dland diary. that makes me laugh. yes, i am a twelve year old boy trapped in the body of a twenty nine year old woman.

i left work at three last night/this morning. my face started swelling again big time and the entire right side of my head was throbbing. i took some advil but it wasn't helping so i came home and went to bed with my ice pack. this morning the swelling is way down from what it was but i still look like i caught the wrong end of someone's fist.

i was putting gas in the car yesterday (2.09!) and i'm wearing my sunglasses because it's fucking bright outside and this little old lady walks up to me and says something like, you have to get away from that man honey. i was like, what? i was so completely confused. then i realized she was talking about my face, the busted lip and swollen face and the sunglasses and she thought some man had beaten me up. i laughed and told her no man had hit me, my two year old puppy was responsible for this mess. of course, she looked at me like she knew i was lying, told me no one would help me until i would help myself and promised to pray for me. i could always use a couple of prayers i guess.

no one replied to my request for help getting a copy of raw last night. i was going to request the same thing for smackdown but i guess i'll just wait and see what i can find on ebay that isn't too expensive. sellers are going to be jacking their prices way up on all guerrero merchandise now. asshats.

so, i need to go get my contacts refilled and have my oil changed and come home and go back to bed. so, toodles ~

i love a survey thingy

2005-11-14T17:49:00.000-05:00

i got this from rete. she got it from pissymystic who got it from wistful-blue, etc etc etc. you get the idea.

1. What's for breakfast? honestly, i so don't remember. i don't think i ate anything at all, but, i'm totally not sure. that's sad.

2. Do you read a newspaper daily? never. i used to read the paper every day, but then i realized that part of the paralyzing depression i was dealing with was from being so empathetic about everything i read.

3. What do you do when you can't sleep? read, ebay, blog, play the sims. as a last resort, take a sleeping pill.

4. Say a word that sums up your mood: stress-free

5. Do you remember your dreams?sometimes.

6. Name something from your dream last night? i was making out with a dude i used to work with, which is weird mostly cause he's totally into guys.

7. Name a food that describes you. let's just go with the entire comfort food genre.

8. Today you are wearing... my brother's big dog Marine t-shirt, a pair of blue and green plaid men's pajama bottoms, and when i went to the bank earlier, i threw on an old pair of shoes sans socks. which, by the way, is something that i really hate but it didn't cross my mind that i did it until i was already in the car and i took my shoes off to drive. i'm weird.

9. What's in your pockets? chapstick.

10. Did you sing in the shower today? one, i never sing in the shower. two, with the right side of my face swollen so big my upper lip practically touches my chin, even if i did normally sing in the shower, i so wouldn't have today.

11. What's the last song you heard? i wanna hold your hand by the beatles

12. Looking forward to the holidays? yeah

13. Where do you want to be this instant? i'm pretty content with where i am though i guess if i were in my own home i'd be marginally happier.

14. What's for lunch/dinner? mama is making chicken and veggie soup from scratch but i think i'll probably pass for now. the inside of my mouth is so torn up that i'm scared to eat anything that's hot.

15. What's something you would like to do soon? um, win the lottery? meet a wonderful man who loves me and treats me like a queen? have a literary agent knock on my door and beg me to let him represent me and help me get published? see suz again and finally see fallon. yeah, mostly the last one.

16. Reading anything now? What is it? re-reading the goblet of fire.

17. What's for dinner? at 2:30 in the morning, when i take my lunch break at work, i'm going to have a pb&j. yum.

18. A favorite part of the day is... right now i'm partial to that time just before i clock out for the day and i get to actually see what all i accomplished at work.

19. Are you happy? i'm not unhappy.

20. Will your friends do this meme? maybe, maybe not. i'm not feeling quite as forceful as rete, so we'll see.

that's all i got tonight guys. my face is hurting like a sonofabitch, so i'm off to lie down with an ice pack for a while and to find my advil. at least the swelling has gone way down today.

don't forget, if anyone can record raw for me tonight and send me the tape i will pay for shipping and the cost of the video tape! please help me out if you can. toodles ~

need some help please

2005-11-14T12:08:00.000-05:00

i won't be able to catch raw tonight because of work. if there is anyone out there who is able to record it for me, i will pay for the video tape and the shipping cost to have it sent to me. you can let me know in my comments or email me at cookiejarprincess@hotmail.com. thanks ~

latino heat ~ RIP ~ eddie guerrero dead at 38

2005-11-14T02:00:00.000-05:00

eddie guerrero was found dead in his hotel room in minneapolis sunday morning. the cause of death has not yet been determined. an autopsy will be performed on monday morning in minneapolis. once the autopsy is complete his body will be flown to phoneix, arizona. funeral arrangements have been made for wednesday in scottsdale, arizona.

during a press conference with eddie's nephew, chavo guerrero, and vince mcmahon today, chavo stated that eddie failed to respond to a 7am wake up call, so he and hotel security forced their way into the room to find eddie laying on the bathroom floor. cpr was administered but he could not be revived. they also stated that there was no evidence of foul play, nor was there evidence of suicide. vince stated that both raw and smackdown this week will be tribute shows to eddie and everyone in the company has the option to work, or to take time off. vince also stated that eddie's family will continue to receive his wwe royalties forever.

eddie is survived by his wife, vickie, and three daughters, ages 14, 9, and 3. he had just celebrated his 38th birthday in early october, losing a match to batista, who, after the match ended, then lead the crowd in singing happy birthday to guerrero.

rumors and stories of guerreros' battle with an addiction to prescription painkillers and alcohol have been rampant for years. while working with suzanne and fallon on IBF and sending out the weekly "newsie", i read many stories concerning eddie's personal demons. in the press conference earlier today, chavo stated that eddie had been clean for the last four years after battling his addictions. he was strong in his faith and stated openly that he knew he had made mistakes but thanks to the grace of god and the love and support of his family, friends, company, and fans, he had recovered.

despite the fact that i have not watched wrestling in few years now, i will always remain a fan of latino heat and he will certainly be missed in the wrestling community.

i have read some spoilers on the two tribute shows planned for this week and i plan to try to catch them. there will be some great footage showed of eddie's career, as well as interviews with greats such a dean malenko and chris benoit about the loss of their friend. more on the life and career of eddie guerrero can be found at wwe.com. as more information is available i will try to post it.

1967 - 2005

more information can be found here...
Minneapolis Star Tribune
Assosciated Press
WWE Press Conference
An awesome Eddie Guerrero fan tribute video
Slam Wrestling website

at least i don't need stitches again

2005-11-14T00:13:00.000-05:00

junebug bit me again tonight. on the upper lip. again. she latched on and wouldn't let go. apparently, as i was handing her a treat she decided that i was too close to it and felt the need to tell me to back the fuck up.

which i promptly did, as soon as she let go of my face.

so i have three or four puncture wounds and my lip is swollen fucking huge. i refused to have my mom take me to the hospital. one, with puncture wounds there is nothing they can do. i didn't need stiches so there was no point. and two, junebug already has one bite against her. if i went to the er again and they reported it, which they would unless i could come up with a very convincing lie, animal control would come take her and put her to sleep. and i just couldn't handle that.

so now i just don't know what to do. daddy says that junebug can tell i'm scared of her. well, how can i not be scared even just a little bit when she has twice now tried to eat my goddamn face? but i love her and i don't want anything bad to happen to her and now i'm totally depressed and she won't come near me cause she knows she did bad and she thinks i'm mad at her and daddy won't let me pick her up and, to be totally honest, i'm not sure i want to right now.

fuck. i wish now that i hadn't had tonight off. i guess i'll go to bed. i don't know where she it but i hate going to bed without her but i know that daddy won't let me bring her to bed. really, how much shitty luck can one person have in their life? isn't there like some kind of maximum quota or something?

walking down memory lane March 2001

2005-11-13T16:29:00.000-05:00

i want to repost some of my old dland posts. not all of them, cause lord knows there are some that are pure and total garbage, but some here and there. so if you've read these already, skip 'em, or read them again if you want. *shrugs*

05 Mar 2001 10:14 pm first time

well, this is my first entry in this thing. i have been wanting to do one of these for a while but quite honestly, i have just been too lazy to do it. lol so here i am.

i used to attempt to keep a journal. i must have dozens of notebooks at home or in storage that have once been the start of a journal. i always start out with good intentions, but i just never follow thru. i write very slowly, whereas i type pretty fast. when i write, i tend to think too much about what i'm saying so maybe if i'm just able to type my thoughts, they'll flow faster or something.

i'm really feeling the need for one of these right about now anyway. it's not that i can't talk to my friends cause i can (you guys know who you are), but i always feel so much better if i can just get my thoughts out of my head. hopefully this will be somewhat of a stress reliever for me.

i'm not wanting to get into the whole me and jeff thing in my first entry, perhaps tomorrow i'll do a bit of ranting about that. he is supposed to call me tonight but i don't think he will. i was not very nice to him on saturday when i saw him and i think i may have hurt his feelings.

anyway, i said i wasn't going to get into the me and jeff thing didn't i and i here i am getting ready to ramble on about him. i'm going to stop now, i'll save the jeff rambling for tomorrow.

see ya ~ cindy

12 Mar 2001 2:08 am laid off

well, i knew i wouldn't keep up with this damn thing daily. lol i really meant to but oh well.

well, on wed i got laid off, but then they told me that they had a position open in another department if i was interested in transfering upstairs. it was a customer service job which i wasn't thrilled about cause i've done it for so long, i'm just not liking cust svc ya know.

anyway, so the dept head or whatever from up there called downstairs and had me come up for my "interview" as i like to call it. i still wasn't sure if i wanted to take it or not even as i walked into the guys office. so he called in matt, the delivery supervisor, and they told me all about the job and the department and then asked me if i was interested.

now, scott had told me downstairs that if i decided i didn't want to take the delivery job, then i was still eligible for the 2 months of severence pay so i still wasn't decided on whether or not i wanted to take the job. but i was scared to death about not having a job. so the boss guy told me that he'd hire me on with my current pay which is cool because i make quite a bit more than everyone in that department. then they told me that i could work a monday thru friday schedule, 11am-8pm and not have to work any weekends.

i was still undecided and they offered to let me take a day to decide. they said i could still go ahead and take thursday off since that's my normal day off. so i told them that i'd be there friday morning at 11.

so i guess it's great that i still have a job. and it went well on friday. i was only trained for about an hour because my boss left early but he wants to work on my training for the rest of this coming week. and he hopes to have me trained on working special jobs within the next 2 or 3 weeks.

this is the most unorganized entry. lol sorry to whomever happens to be reading this. my brain is kind of running overtime right now. and i am having a hard time focusing on what i'm writing. lol it's a shame that i can't get my body motivated enough to catch up with my brain. lol

um, what else? oh, i haven't seen or talked to jeff since wed. i am very proud of myself for not calling him cause lord knows i've wanted to. i'm pathetic i know, lol, can't help it. anyway, so tonight i broke down and called him to say hi and we talked for about an hour.

it was a really great conversation. we laughed and joked with each other and he told me that he'd thought about me a bit in the past week. which, if you don't know jeff, which none of you do lol, that is a really big thing for him to say. he never says stuff like that. anyway, so towards the end of the conversation he starts to get all serious and i made a mistaken comment and he corrected me.

i thought that he had said when we broke up that he loved me but he wasn't in love with me. (think obnoxious snickers commercial dee dee!) anyway, so we were joking today and i said something about him not loving me and he's like i do love you. and i said okay, sorry, i mean, you aren't in love with me. and he's like that's not true either, i am in love with you. so needless to say i was a bit speechless there.

i was like what? so then he tells me that there is some unfinished business between us and i was like what and he said that it wasn't anything he wanted to say over the phone, he's rather talk to me in person and he will call me tomorrow and see when we can get together and talk again.

i am telling myself over and over again that we aren't going to get back together. i am trying to talk myself into that so that i won't be hurt again when he tells me whatever it is that he wants to say. i don't know how to feel. i love him and the kids and i want to be with him and i know that he is a good person and a good father and a good boyfriend because i've known him long enough to see these things in him.

i also know that he is moody and grouchy and, well, ect ect. but i love that about him just a much as i love the other things. it's kind of schizo to say, but i love all the people that he is.

okay, this is way too long and way to unorganized to continue. i'm gonna go. hopefully next time i do this i'll do a better job of it. lol

till next time, love y'all ~cindy

19 Mar 2001 4:40 pm marriage

i actually had a conversation about marriage with like 3 seperate friends this weekend. lol it's funny, it isn't something that i talk about that often seeing as how my one attempt at the great institution died a miserable death. but here, this past weekend, i actually talked about it several times.

when i was younger i used to think about getting married. i think all girls do. i used to try to imagine what my husband would look like and what he'd do for a living. i always knew that i wanted to get married one day and i always said that once i did, it was going to be forever. no divorce for me thank you very much.

so here i am, 24 years old and divorced.

i was talking to a friend of mine shortly after my ex-husband left me and she asked if i thought i'd ever get married again. i thought about it for a minute before saying i really wasn't sure. i told her that i had always wanted to be married, but obviously i wasn't very good at it. she just looked at me and told me that i had been good at it, judah is the one that wasn't good at it. (but hey, let's face it, there are a lot of things judah wasn't good at. lol)

when judah left me, one of his best excuses was that no one had told him marriage was going to be so hard. well, he was kind of right. marriage is hard. but i don't think it has to be hard all the time. granted, yeah, everyone is going to have their hard times or whatever. but the good times should always outweigh the bad right?

can you believe i just said that up there? cynical old me who never believes in a happy ending. lol

when judah left me, we were living with my grandma because we had just lost our house. he had been gone for 3 days before he had the balls to tell me he wasn't coming back. my grandma called my daddy and told him that judah had left and when i got home from work that day my daddy was there for me. when he hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay, all i could say was i just want what you and mama have.

my parents have been together almost 30 years. they are each others best friend. you can see how much my daddy loves my mama just by looking in his eyes. granted my dad is an asshole at times and my mom is prolly the moodiest woman on the face of the earth, but they love each other no matter what.

it's kind of amazing to me that they have stayed together so long. they've been through some hard things, things that my friends parents couldn't work through. my brother and i gave them quite a bit of grief and there were times when they didn't know how they were going to pay the bills, but through it all they loved each other.

as cheesy as it sounds, that's what i want out of life. a love like my parents have.

of course, my marriage was doomed to fail before it ever began. i loved judah, i really did. but i didn't love him like i should have, considering that i was planning to spend the rest of my life with him. i feel bad when i think about it. granted he was an asshole and he treated me like shit, but what i did to him wasn't fair either.

judah told me once that he didn't know if he ever wanted to get married. he said he did know for sure that he wasn't ready to get married anytime soon. so i told him that if we were that different then we shouldn't be together because i wanted very much to get married. he didn't understand why and i simply told him that i didn't want to be someone's girlfriend for the rest of my life. i wanted a man to love me enough to give me his name. (cheesy ain't it? lol)

we broke up for a while after that. but eventually we got back together and he asked me to marry him. i knew deep down that he didn't want to get married but i did, so i said yes anyway.

looking back, i can't honestly say that i wanted to marry judah, but i can say i wanted to get married. i hate myself for that but it's true. i wanted to get married and he asked so i said yes. it wasn't fair to him but that's the way it happened. i felt guilty for that for a long time.

and this is what you get when you get married for the wrong reasons, you end up 24 and alone, living with your parents. lol i say 24 and alone like i'm 50 i know. lol i'm only 24, my life is hardly over, i have plenty of time to worry about the future.

so for now i just need to relax and focus on myself for a change. of course, that's easier said than done. but it's something to work on i guess.

22 Mar 2001 5:40 pm two in one day!

woohoo! two entries in one day! wow, i'm on a roll. lol actually, truth be told, my phone hasn't rung in almost an hour, all my call outs are done, i can't get motivated to write or edit any fic, and i'm bored. lol so i thought i'd answer the getting to know you email that fal sent me yesterday since i'm too lazy to send it out to my friends. lol

everything you ever wanted to know about me...
and some things you prolly didn't. lol

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
great, i get to start this thing out telling you all how pathetic i am. lol i live with my parents. rent free though. lol

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
coldfire by dean koontz and html4 for dummies

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
cow spots at home, at work, it's just plain old boring blue. *hint* i wanna powerpuff girls one *hint *cough jeff cough* hint*

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
i don't play board games much, but i like scattergories and recently i've been playing a lot of cards, spades rocks. i kick ass at spades.

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
people or any home decorating magazine

6a. FAVORITE SMELLS?
vanillia and old spice cologne

6b. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS
cigarette smoke in my house first thing in the morning

7. FAVORITE SOUND?
rain on the roof if i don't have to go out in it

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
lonliness ~ nuff said

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
honestly, i'd rather not say *i'm trying to move on here ppl* the second thing i think is how long can i lay here and still not be late for work. lol

10. FAVORITE COLOR?
blue but lately i'm liking purple too

11. FAVORITE SONG?
way too many to list here but right now i'm really liking shaggy's angel and of course anything by creed *yum* lol

12. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
depends on what the caller id says lol

13. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
umm, corbett, taylor, i dunno, hafta wait till it happens i guess

14. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?
having friends and family to love and who love you back no matter what you do to screw up

15. FAVORITE FOODS?
italian

16. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
chocolate, please, like you really had to ask lol

17. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
who me? never *looks around to see who might have witnessed that little white lie*

18. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
not exactly, i sleep with my baby pillow. it's the pillow my grandmother made for my crib and i've slept with it so long that the pillow case is see through. lol

19. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
cool, if i can stay inside and enjoy them. if i have to go out, they suck.

20. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
a 1986 mustang, but i only had it a few months, then i ended up with a 82 vette ~ CHEvette. lol

21. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE?
i'm with deedee on this one, it would definetly be fallon.

22. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
currently, mike's hard lemonade, but it varies

23. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
i'm a crab, but i used to date a guy who called me a bitch, oh wait, maybe he meant something else...*hmm*

24. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
but of course, what are little trees without their trunks?

25. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
i would either be a world famous best selling author or an interior designer.

26. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR?
i used to dye it red back in the day, i kinda like it brown right now though.

27. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
unfortunately. i'm kidding! yes, i've been in love.

28. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
depends on what's in it? lol today, i'd say half empty, but tomorrow it might be full. ya never know.

29. FAVORITE MOVIE:
dirty dancing, star wars, the matrix, the breakfast club, e.t., and list goes on and on and on and on

30. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
of course, miss harvey would have it no other way. she taped a piece of paper over my keyboard in school so i couldn't look at my fingers and i HAD to type with my fingers on the right keys.

31. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
nothing at the moment, unless the pile of laundry that i *still* have not finished has crept under there.

32. FAVORITE NUMBER?
124

33. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
wrestling and football and hockey but only if it's live, can't stand to watch hockey on tv

34. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
she's an amazing poet

35. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
i'm too lazy to send it lol

36. PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
see above lol

23 Mar 2001 10:28 am a bill?

i got an interesting letter in the mail yesterday from the virginia department of transportation.

~*~*~

Dear Ms. Pierce:

The Virignia State Police has informed the Virginia Departemnt of Transportation (VDOT) that a vehicle operated by you was involved in an accident that resulted in damage to State property on February 22, 2001, on Route 85 (SBL), 1.5 miles south of Route 58 in Mecklenburg county.

It is the responsibilty of VDOT to repair damaged State property and to collect for such repairs. Please report the accident to your insurance company.

An invoice will be sent to you for cost of repairs related to your accident, please remit a check made payable to the Treasurer of Virginia.

Your cooperation in this matter will be greatly appreciated.

~*~*~

i am getting a bill for the guardrail! when i saw the return address on the envelope i jokingly said to my dad, i bet this is a bill for the guardrail.

you could have knocked me over with a feather when i saw that it actually was a letter saying i was going to receive a bill for the flucking guardrail.

granted, after the accident, i had a whole new respect for guardrails, but i'm betting that guardrails are probably right expensive.

on another note, i mailed in my first car payment today. ouch. i love my new car but, damn, it hurt to write that check. oh well. what can ya do?

27 Mar 2001 11:16 am random thoughts of elementary school

well, i'm having lunch this weekend with a girl i went to elementary school with. i haven't seen her in like 15 years or something like that. jeff helped me find her a few months ago online and we've been emailing for a while. now she's in va visiting her parents before she moves to germany (she and her husband are in the army).

so anyway, i was lying in the bed the other night staring at the ceiling ~ not sleeping ~ again ~ and i just started remembering random things from when i was a kid. i've always had a pretty good memeory and my mom jokes with me saying that she thinks i prolly remeber birth. lol it's not quite that bad but it really freaked me out when i realized how much i do remember from like 20 years ago. ~god i feel old~

in kindergarten my teacher was ms harper. it was the first time i met kim who is still a friend of mine now all these years later. edward had this really strange habit of sucking his thumb and twirling his bangs with the pointer finger of the same hand and one day he got his finger tangled in his hair and it was stuck. ms harper had to cut his hair to get his finger out.

in first grade i had ms butterworth. i don't remember much about first grade except that ms butterworth taped chad to his chair once with masking tape to keep him from getting up and walking around the class.

in second grade i had mrs robbins. it was the first year we sat in desks rather than at tables. i got my ears pierced that year and it was the year i met nancy b, the girl i'm having lunch with. i had to get special permission that year to check out books with chapters from the school library cause no other second graders were reading books with chapters.

in third grade i had mrs pak. we were in the same classroom i had been in in first grade. that was the year matt moved to va from germany. richie and joe were in my class and i was such the teachers pet. lol

in fourth grade i had mrs taylor. it was the first year they had trailors at enon and the fourth grade was all outside in the trailors. it was the year brandi jo moved to va from ohio. i had such a crush on jason and i had to go to ms pauls class for math because they realized how bad i sucked at math class.

in fifth grade i had mr sanders. to this day i consider him on the best teachers i ever had. he encouraged my reading so much. not that my other teachers discouraged me, they just didn't encourage me the way he did. that was the year i read bridge to teribitha and the one eyed cat. a few months ago i read somewhere that there is a group of parents trying to get bridge to teribitha banned from their school library. i guess they would prefer their kids play violent video games and vegetate on the couch watching mindless sitcoms rather than read a wonderful award winning book. anyway, that's a rant for another day.

my middle school years all kind of run together now. i remember various things from those years but they aren't always clear and i can't always remember which year what happened.

i know in sixth grade i met tim. he had just moved here from new york and we became good friends. i had ms hamilton for english and that's the year i decided i wanted to be an english teacher.

in seventh grade ~ well, i don't remember too much about seventh grade actually. other than that's the year i got caught forging my mother's signature on an excuse for not having my homework.

eighth grade is almost a total blur. lol it's funny that i can remember more about kindergarten than i do about eighth grade.

ninth grade is the year i met kelly.

tenth grade is the year i started managing football with kelly and nina and we became known at the three muskateers. i also met jeff in the tenth grade.

eleventh grade was another me and kelly year. we were inseperable. we even dated guys who were best friends.

twelveth grade sucked.

so there is my life in review. kinda pitiful isn't it? lol it just amazes me that i remember more from all those years ago than i do from what happened less than ten years ago.

28 Mar 2001 12:00 pm the dentist

my mouth friggin hurts. i went to the dentist this morning and i don't usually have issues with the dentist. i know several ppl who have serious issues with the dentist (my mother, for example, hates the dentist with a passion) but i've never minded going.

anyway, when i go, i always see the same assistant person and she cleans my teeth and then the dentist comes in and says yeah, everything looks great, see ya in six months. so i walked in this morning expecting to be seen by the same chick.

i was wrong.

she's out on vacation or something. but hey, it's no biggie. at this point i'm still not having issues. it doesn't really matter who cleans my teeth. so they have a temp in the office. i didn't even know that there was a temp agency for such postions but anyway. so this dude comes and gets me from the waiting room and takes me back to the little room.

my first issue came up when he couldn't figure out how to work the chair. i thought i was going to get whiplash.

my second issue came when he hit me in the forehead with that little lamp thing that hangs from the ceiling.

now, most ppl don't realize this, but, i am kind of anal about my teeth. i brush my teeth like, at least 3 times a day, sometimes more. i floss religiously even though my teeth are very tight against each other due to my wearing braces for like 4 years. so anyway, my teeth pretty much stay clean. it usually takes the normal chick like 15 minutes at the most to clean and polish them all up.

so my third issue came about when it took him almost an hour to clean my already clean teeth.

it wasn't that he was having to do a lot of work or anything either. he was friggin talking my damn ears off. i was thinking shut the hell up and finish my teeth. he would totally stop what he was doing and sit back in his chair and just talk and talk. meanwhile, i had a mouthful of that nasty polishing stuff. you do not understand how bad i just wanted to spit it on him.

so after like 45 minutes of hearing his theory's on everything from marriage, to retail customer service, to parenting, to the after life, he finally finished and went to get dr leftwich. it took dr leftwich all of like 30 seconds to look in my mouth and say have a nice day and i was outta there.

so i went to the desk to make my next appointment for october (i always see the dentist every six months lol) and dude follwed me into the waiting room talking to me. i was ready to friggin scream. so the receptionist, bless her soul, shoved a chart in his hand and told him to call his next patient.

i still don't have dentist issues, but if that dude is there in october when i go back, i think i'll reschedule.

29 Mar 2001 4:33 pm procrastination

you know what i really hate about myself. well, there are several things actually, but the one thing i was specifically thinking about today is the way i tend to start things and never finish them. i really hate that.

almost two years ago, when judah left and i moved back home, i started cross stiching again. it gave me something to do to kill time and actually made me feel kind of good in the process. so i bought this gorgeous dragon pattern to do. it's huge and i wanted to give it to my dad for christmas. christmas of 1999. now, in march of 2001, it is still not even half finished.

a year ago i suddenly made a decision to take one of those study at home courses. i had been thinking about it for a while. i've always kinda liked interior design and i'm told i'm pretty good at it too. so i signed up for this class and started getting the packages. i've read them all. but i haven't done the assignments and sent them in.

i started painting my bedroom in november. i have almost completed two walls. of course, now i'm out of paint so i have a bit of a better excuse for not finishing. but now, i'm just putting off buying more paint.

i love to read and i do finish almost all of the books that i start. but, there are still countless books that i have never finished. i want to finish them. i actually have a pile of books in the bottom of my closet at home that are books i have started and not finished that i "plan" to finish one day. yeah right.

now i have decided that i want to learn html. i bought a book and dd is helping me with it. i was telling my mom about it and she said something about it being good that i had found something i was interested in learning or some shit like that. so i said, yeah, something else for me to start and never finish.

the sad thing is i know that i do this. i know that i hate it and i know that it makes me feel bad that i do it. but for some reason i cannot find the motivation to fix it.

30 Mar 2001 rambling

well, i don't really have anything earth shattering to say today (like i ever do lol) but i am just feeling the urge to write something. i'm actually proud of myself that i have been making an entry here almost daily for the past week or so. it's a rather small accomplishment but if you read yesterdays self-hating rant you would know that i never finish anything i start, so being able to say that i am doing this is actually a pretty big deal for me. well, that was one hell of a run on sentence. lol

well, wrestlemania is this weekend and i'm going to travis and bryce's to watch it with suzanne. i'm looking forward to it despite the fact that i'll be spending the evening with a group of total strangers. normally i would have issue with that as i'm not completely comfortable around people that i don't know well but for some reason i'm not having too many issues. perhaps it's because i am so comfortable with dd that i feel it isn't really going to matter.

not only am i going to watch wm, i get to ride in dd's new car. does it make me too pathetic to say that i am looking forward to that? lol

i had planned to go home last night and watch smackdown, perhaps talk to dd online and maybe talk to jeff for a while on the phone but somehow i ended up at jeff's. we watched sd and i played with sierra, keeping her somewhat out of jeff's hair so that he could get some things done around the house.

i got to put sierra to bed last night. i've gotten to do this a few other times in the past few months, usually when she didn't feel good and she wanted me to lie with her and rub her tummy until she fell asleep. last night when jeff told her it was bedtime she said she wouldn't go to bed unless i went upstairs and laid with her. so i carried her up to jeff's room and we crawled into his bed.

i laid on my side and she snuggled up to me with her back to me and said give me your hand. so i reached my hand out and she pulled my arm around herself, then she reached up and took my other hand and held it in both of hers. she said goodnight cindy, i love you. i thought i was going to cry. lol it was so sweet. so we lay there until she fell asleep.

i think one of my favorite sounds is the sound that sierra makes when she is sleeping. just the sound of her slow even breathing. it is such a relaxing sound. very innocent. she is so sweet when she's asleep. lol of course, she's sweet when she's awake too but lord does she have her moments. lol

i miss her so much. but she hasn't forgotten me which is one thing i was very afraid of. i was so scared she'd forget me when i stopped coming around. but she still wants me to play with her and pick her up and carry her and she wants to sit in my lap and brush my hair and look at my purse. i guess i was fooling myself when i thought buying her her own purse for christmas would make her stop wanting to go through mine. lol oh well, she's too hard to say no too and i don't really mind anyway.

i was thinking last night (i know, i know, i think too much but i can't help it) while i was laying with her listening to her sleep that i think i am going to have issues with jeff dating, not because of him so much, as the kids. i am kinda possesive of them now and i can totally understand how jennie felt when jeff and i started dating and she saw me with the kids or heard sierra talking about me.

it's going to suck when he brings another woman around them. i don't want sierra to love someone else. i don't want her to want someone else to put her to bed and to hold her and to carry her around and to rub her tummy when it hurts.

i feel no jealousy towards jennie for those things of course because she's their mother. but i don't know how i'm going to deal when it's someone else. and it will be. i know jeff, he can't be without a woman. he's too needy. lol i'm sure he already has someone else even though he won't tell me if there is.

it doesn't bother me so much now, even though i'm sure there is, because i don't know for sure and i haven't seen it. but i know it's going to hurt like hell the first time i see someone else pick up my baby when she cries.

well, i certainly didn't mean for this to take the turn it took. guess i had more to say than i thought i did. how did i go from wrestlemania to this? i'm not sure either. lol

see ya all later ~ me

31 Mar 2001 9:30 am what?

being sick sucks. i finally just got rid of the stupid sinus infection i've had since january a few weeks ago and now it's allergy season. oh well, allergy season i can deal with, it sucks, but i can deal. what i can't deal with is the fact that i can't flucking hear! my right hear feels like someone has stuffed cotton down it. i absolutely can not hear anything. and it hurts too. that real sharp pearcing pain. so now it looks like two days worth of allergy induced drainage has now settled into a quite painful ear infection. so i actually may drag myself over to patient first today and get some antibiotics before it gets too bad. well, that's enough complaining from me today. see ya.

toodles ♥ ♥

something to offend everyone

2005-11-12T15:45:00.000-05:00

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it is so worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him “Sum Ting Wong“.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…”, a southern fairytale begins “Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit.…”

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides..

*disclaimer - these are jokes. if you don't get them or if they actually do offend you, don't bother telling me because i will make fun of you for being a dork.

taken from the one and only chickpea

2005-11-11T19:49:00.000-05:00

Put an x by the ones you've seen. More then 70 means you are a movie whore.

(x)Pirates of the Caribbean
( )The Mexican
( )Fight Club
(x)Starsky and Hutch
(x)Neverending Story
(x)Blazing Saddles
( )Garden State
(x)The Princess Bride
( )Young Frankenstien
(x)Anchor-Man
(x)Napoleon Dynamite
( )Saw
( )White noise
( )White Oleander
( )Anger Management

Total here: 7

( )50 first Dates
( )Jason
(x)Scream
(x)Scream 2
(x)Scream 3
(x)Scary Movie
(x)Scary Movie 2
(x)Scary Movie 3
(x)American Pie
(x)American Pie 2
(x)American Wedding
(x)Harry Potter
(x)Harry Potter 2
(x)Harry Potter 3
(x)Resident Evil I
( )Resident Evil 2
(x)The Wedding Singer
( )Little Black Book

total here : 14

( )The Village
( )Donnie Darko
( )Lilo & Stitch
( )Finding Nemo
( )Finding Neverland
( )13 Ghosts
(x)Signs
(x)The Grinch
(x)Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( )White Chicks
( )Butterfly Effect
( )Thirteen Going On 30
(x)I, Robot
( )Dodgeball
(x)Universal Soldier
( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( )Along Came A Spider
( )Deep impact

total here: 5

( )KingPin
( )Never Been Kissed
(x)Meet The Parents
(x)Meet the Fockers
( )Eight Crazy Nights
( )A Cinderella Story
( )The Terminal
( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( )Passport to Paris
( )Dumb & Dumber
( )Dumb & Dumberer
(x)Final Desitination
( )Final Destination 2
(x)Halloween
(x)The Ring
( )The Ring 2
( )Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
(x)Practical Magic
( )Chicago
( )Ghost Ship
( )From Hell
( )Hellboy
( )Secret Window
( )I Am Sam
(x)The Whole Nine Yards
( )The Whole Ten Yards
( )The Day After Tomorrow
(x)Child's Play
( )Bride of Chucky
(x)Ten Things I Hate About You
( )Just Married
( )Gothika
(x)Nightmare on Elm Street
(x)Sixteen Candles
(x)Bad Boys
( )Bad Boys 2
( )Joy Ride
(x)Seven
(x)Oceans Eleven
( )Oceans Twelve
( )Idenity

total here : 14

( )Lone Star
(x)Predator I
(x)Predator II
(x)Independence day
( )Cujo
(x)A Bronx Tale
( )Darkness Falls
(x)Christine
(x)ET
(x)Children of the Corn
( )My boss' daughter
( )Maid in Manhatten
( )Frailty
( )How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( )Shes all that
( )Calendar Girls
( )Sideways
(x)Mars Attacks

total here : 7

( )Event Horizon
(x)Ever after
(x)Forrest Gump
(x)Big Trouble in Little China
(x)x-men 1
( )x-men 2
( )Catch Me If You Can
( )The Others
(x)Freaky Friday
(x)Ring of Fire
( )The Hot Chick
( )Swimfan
( )Miracle
(x)Old School
( )Ray
( )The Notebook
( )K-Pax

Total here : 7

(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x)Lord of the Rings: The two Towers
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( )A Walk To Remember
( )Boogeyman
( )Hitch
(x)The Fifth Element
(x)Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
(x)Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
( )Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x)Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
(x)Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x)Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedi...
(x)Troop Beverly Hills
( )Swimming with Sharks
(x)Air Force One
( )For Richer or Poorer
( )People under the stairs
( )Blue Velvet
(x)Sound of music
(x)Parent Trap
(x)The Burbs
(x)The Terminator
(x)The Terminator 2
( )The Terminator 3
(x)Empire Records
( )Meet Joe Black
(x)A Clockwork Orange
( )The Order
(x)Spiderman
( )Spiderman 2
( )Amelie

total here: 19

( )Mean Girls
(x)Shrek
(x)Shrek 2
( )The Incredibles
( )Collateral
(x)The Fast & the Furious
( )2 Fast 2 Furious
( )Sky Captain Of The World Of Tomorrow
( )Closer

total here : 3

(x)Titanic
( )Saved
( )Bowling For Columbine
( )Fahrenheit 9/11
(x)The Sixth Sense
( )Artificial intelligence (AI)
( )Love Actually
( )Shutter
( )Ella Enchanted
( )Princess Diaries 1
( )Princess diaries 2
( )Constantine
( )Million Dollar Baby
( )Envy
( )Eurotrip
( )Malibu's Most wanted
(x)Big Daddy
( )Black Sheep
(x)The Breakfast Club
(x)West side story

total here : 5

(x)A Christmas Story
( )Spanglish
(x)Pulp Fiction
( )sleepover
( )The Evil Dead
(x)Killer Klowns From Outer Space
( )The Seed of chucky
( )Vanilla Sky
(x)Nightmare Before Christmas
( )Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
(x)Interview With The Vampire
(x)The Crow
(x)Purple Rain
(x)Wayne's World

total here : 8

(x)Wayne's World 2
( )21 Grams
( )Blow
(x)Edward Scissorhands
(x)Clerks
(x)Beauty and the Beast
( )Guess who
( )Monster in-law
( )Elf
( )Stuart little
( )Stuart little 2
(x)Chasing Amy
(x)Dogma
(x)Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

total here : 7

(x)Beetlejuice
( )The Last Samurai
( )The Amityville Horror
( )The Aviator
(x)Romeo and Juliet
( )Barbershop
( )Barbershop 2
(x)Legally Blonde
( )Legally Blonde 2
( )The Forgotten
( )Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
( )The Grudge

total here : 3

GRAND TOTAL : 99

i actually didn't expect to score that well. when i first saw this thing i was like, oh, i'll score high because i've seen a ton of movies. then, while i was taking it i was like, shit, i haven't seen most of these damn movies. so now i need to catch some of the flicks on this list that i have actually wanted to see. maybe. or i could just go read a book. or sleep. sleep sounds good.

for now i need to head to work. have a wonderful friday night lovelies ~

busy day

2005-11-11T18:35:00.000-05:00

so, it's friday, vetran's day, the Marine Corp birthday, and payday. yay for busy fridays.

my back hurts so bad. of course, i started my period this morning so i'm not 100% if my back is killing me because of that, or because i'm horribly out of shape and work is kicking my ass for it.

the backs of my thighs, my hands, and my arms all hurt because i'm out of shape and i'm using muscles my body had forgetten i even have. good times.

while i'm tired and sore, at the same time, i feel better than i have felt in forever. endorphins and such ya know.

so, this is a short and kind of weird entry. i need to get some dinner and shower and get ready to head to work to do it all over again. toodles ~

tender moments with my family

2005-11-10T19:54:00.000-05:00

my brother was telling my mom and i about re-doing his resume for a specific job he's interested in. he told us that he had asked his best friends wife for some suggestions and help with it. i told him that i'd be happy to look at it and help him with it. to which he replied, angie has a degree.

ouch.

my brother was going to eat some of the leftovers from the dinner i made the other night when my dad told him, don't eat that, it tastes like crap and needs to be thrown out.

i was cooking dinner tonight when daddy came into the kitchen and started berating me for not cooking the fucking spam done enough to suit him. i moved to wash a fork in the sink and he took over because i didn't know what the hell i was doing.

and my family has wondered why i've had little or no self worth for the majority of my life. mmmm, i wonder...

more bandwagon fun

2005-11-10T18:49:00.000-05:00

i got this from suzanne and fallon.

If you're reading this- like, right now- reading these words as I, uh, speak or whatever- take a moment to post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be whatever you want, a lousy memory where we fought or a really good one where we went cow-tipping...which would pretty much be impossible because I've never been cow-tipping...anyway, I won't impale you with anything, even if I don't like the memory. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

toodles ~

mornin'

2005-11-10T16:54:00.000-05:00

today my parents tried very hard to help me out and keep the dogs, specifically junebug, from waking me up while i slept. thanks to all of their hard work, junebug woke me up no less than six times between seven and eleven thirty am. good times. so, while mama and daddy went to the store, to by MORE christmas lights, i got up, had some ~~lunch~~ breakfast, and went back to bed with junebug tucked under the covers with me snuggled behind my knees.

she came and went several times between twelve and four-thirty when i finally got up for good. or so i'm told. she didn't bother me a single time. junebug hates a closed door. and i do mean hates. if a door is closed she will do everything in her power to get it open, even if that means just annoying the shit out of you until you get up and open it. so when i went back to bed at twelve i just left my bedroom door open so she could leave if she wanted and come back if she wanted. voila. problem solved.

meanwhile, daddy has spent the majority of the day in the front yard stringing more christmas lights from hither to yon. yay. he had put a few lights out and was working on his "plans" for more. yes, he makes a plan for his christmas lights so that he knows what he wants to do and what he might need. anyway, so he said it was too early to do too much and he didn't want to turn them on until close to thanksgiving. then, last night he went to the gas station down the street and he saw a house in that neighborhood lit up from the road all the way to the roof and so now i guess he feels like it's not to early anymore.

all i know is there is nowhere to sit in the living room because there are lights stretched out everywhere and he's outside in his coat, smoking and stringing lights. yay for christmas lights. tacky christmas lights at that.

i have a feeling that it is going to take me a little while to get used to this schedule. duh. i mean, i knew that, but i'm just feeling so friggin out of it right now. it's five in the afternoon and i have to be at work in five hours. it just feels... weird. whatever, the paycheck next week will feel fine.

so, i'm out. i want to wash a load of clothes so i can wear my jean capris to work tonight. they are very comfy and stretchy and they are also thin and cool because after climbing those stockroom steps a few times you start to get right hot and sweaty. but then i also need to find my little sweatshirt jacket/hoodie thing for when we go on lunch and breaks because once you stop moving, you'll freeze to death. g'night lovelies ~

no need for a gym membership here

2005-11-10T11:27:00.000-05:00

have you ever heard the saying i hurt in places i didn't even know i had? yeah. that's me today.

work went well. i didn't even get really tired until around 4:30 when we took our last break. at that point, it was a bad idea to sit down, cause then we were all like, we have to get back up now?

anyway, so the night went well, my partner for the night and i put away about five racks of mens and misses clothes, time flew by, and i feel really good. except for the parts of my that hurt.

help me before i hurt him, please

2005-11-09T17:54:00.000-05:00

i have to be at work at ten tonight. i have to work until six-thirty in the morning. i stayed up late last night and then only slept a few hours so that i could get some sleep this evening and not be exhausted before the night is out.

so, i was up early this morning. i had errands to run, ebay stuff to do, laundry to wash and so on. so around two i finally set my clock for seven and went to bed. i've been awake since quarter to five and i am pissed off about it.

i was sleeping fine. wonderfully even. having a pretty good dream too. when i was ripped from my slumber by my dad asking me what time i had to be at work. i mumbled something that may or may not have sounded like ten and cracked one eye open to look at the clock. it was two-forty. great.

so i rolled over and went back to sleep. only to have him wake me up four more times within the next two hours.

hello! i'm fucking trying to sleep here! go the fuck away!

so now i'm awake and pissed off and i'm staying back here away from him because if he so much as fucking speaks to me i am very liable to be not-so-nice and if i hurt his feelings he'll pout like a four year old girl and i'm just not into dealing with that today.

a must read and future must see

2005-11-09T09:50:00.000-05:00

have you read the secret life of bees by sue monk kidd?

i read it several months back and i have since loaned it to a good dozen other people and told a bunch of other people about it who either got it from the library or bought it. one of the best books i've ever read. really. and i read a lot.

anyway, so they are making a movie set to be released sometime in 2006 but only two cast members have been announced so far. dakota fanning is set to play lily, the main character, and some other little girl has been cast to play the part of lily's mom as a little girl.

anyway, to make a long story short, go read this book now. toodles ~

a gift for you all

2005-11-09T08:56:00.000-05:00

since i have been such a bad diary friend, i am offering you all a small token of my appreciation. enjoy.

happy hump day

2005-11-09T08:41:00.000-05:00

so, i start work tonight at ten. i had orientation yesterday morning. a nice three hour little let-us-pay-you-for-sitting-here-and-watching-videos-and-signing-your-life-away kind of thing. i seriously signed my name so many times that my carpel tunnel started acting up and my wrist is bothering me this morning. good times. it's weird that "writing" is the only thing that actually triggers it anymore so i plan to just rest it for a while today and it should be fine by tonight.

i am a bad diary friend. i havent' read anyone's diary since last week. with the exception of catherine and fallon's myspace blog. oh, and taylor's myspace blog. and i'm not linking them cause i'm feeling lazy and that would just take too much effort at the moment. anyway, i might start trying to catch up today but i've got a ton of ebaying to do today so it may have to wait another day or so. i love you guys even though i haven't been reading about your lives!

so, yeah, i guess for now that's it. like i said, i have a ton of ebaying that i want to get done today. most of my inventory is put away nice and neatly, but as i haven't even taken pictures of all of it yet, i can't get it all listed so i need to haul out my piece of shit camera and take some pictures and get some stuff listed. i'm gonna need the money for christmas so i am slashing prices too. if i sell it cheaper, i'll sell more and in the long run getting it out of the house and into the homes of others is what's important. lol

okay, so i'm out. have a wonderful hump day. toodles ~

OMFG!

2005-11-08T22:01:00.000-05:00

i just read the first three chapters of danse macabre. it's the next book in the anita blake series, due out in july of 2006. if you don't want to know, i'm not giving any hints or spoilers, but if you do want to know, go to laurell's official site and check it out. damn. that's all i can even say. damn.

happy monday

2005-11-07T13:41:00.000-05:00

so, i have orientation at kohls tomorrow morning. yay for me. walgreens called about the application i put in with them last week but the hours they offered didn't work with my kohls hours and they were only offering six bucks so it certainly wouldn't have been worth it to me. as it is, i'm only losing a buck by going to kohls. and since i won't be paying a buttload in insurance and 401k every pay period i'll be bringing home more money in the long run. plus, payday is every. single. week. yay for weekly paydays!

so, i've been sewing today for the first time in a long while. junebug comes and sits under the dining room table and lays on my feet. the only problem with that is that she tends to step on the foot pedal and all of a sudden i'm zooming crazy. but she only did it a few times and then she made herself a little hide-a-way bed with my batting that i had out for the quilted purse i'm making. *sigh* whatever makes her happy, she just wants to be with me so it's all good.

i'm broke. again. i'm out of cigarettes. again. i'm seriously craving a mt dew. again. did i mention that i'm broke? but friday is payday and i get my last check from tarshay which will have my vacation and personal holiday time on it and then next friday is payday all over again. yay.

yeah, so i need to go sew some tags into the purses i finished today. i'm out. toodles ~

a couple of really great things about not working at tarshay anymore

2005-11-06T16:27:00.000-05:00

there are a few really good things about not working at tarshay anymore. one, as i mentioned earlier, is that i no longer have to wait on customers. now, i've worked retail for close to thirteen years now, and so i am very well aware that customers pay my paycheck each and every week. and for that, i am eternally grateful. not, however, grateful enough to relish the rude, obnoxious, snotty, bitchy, and downright ugly and mean behavior that some customers seem to enjoy showing on a daily basis. and the fact that i do not have to deal with that prima dona behavior this particular holiday season thrills me to no end.

the number two reason would be that i can finally paint my nails. FINALLY now, i'm one of those women who can really do the whole take or leave thing with nail polish. i do take pride in my hands and nails and i try to keep them filed and buffed and looking nice. but, before i worked at target, i only painted my nails every so often and on a daily basis i preferred to go with clear polish just to give my nails some shine. but, target's policy on nail polish in the food service area is no no no no. which, i will admit, i can absolutely understand. that doesn't mean that i didn't chafe at the "no, you aren't allowed" bit at least a little. if i don't want to that's all fine and dandy but if you are going to tell me that i cannot, it instantly makes me want to all the more. yeah, i'm childish like that. so, yeah, i totally have plans to manicure myself up this evening. plus having my nails painted makes me feel pretty. or something.

third, no more hats. ever. and i do mean ever.

and fourth, this kind of goes along with the no more hats thing, i can actually fix my hair for a change. good time.

so, now that i have thouroughly bored you with all of this talk about my nails and hair and such i guess i'm out. i have nano stuff to write.

oh, i almost forgot, i can also start wearing my watch and other jewelry again too. yay. toodles ~

yay for me

2005-11-06T12:10:00.000-05:00

so, i got the job at my mom's store and i start this week. yay for me. and it's all overnights so, and no offense, but i get to work all the way through christmas without having to wait on one single fucking customer. now that is exciting.

so will came home on friday night. i have seen him for approximately ten to twelve minutes in that span of time. but i did have the pleasure of talking to him on the phone last night while he was totally shitfaced. good times. he gets out of the Marines in twelve days. i have no idea what he will be doing after that because he doesn't really talk to me anymore and my parents haven't told me anything that he's told them. so, yeah, i'm like the red-headed step child and i'm always the last to know. good times.

it's kind of sad to think that we went from being best friends to rarely ever speaking now. there was no catastrophic event that caused the change, we just both kind of changed. sad, but such is life.

so, i had other stuff to say, none of which i can remember at the moment so i think i'm going to head over to the goodwill store and see if they have any good stuff hidden amongst their crap. i don't have any money but you never know what you might find, and, i just really want out of the house for a little bit. so i'm off. toodles ~

nanowrimo day 4: word count: not enough

2005-11-04T16:29:00.000-05:00

so, today was my last day at work. *sniffle* at least i didn't cry so much that my face is all blotchy and my eyes are all puffy and red. after all, i do have a job interview this evening. as a matter of fact, i need to figure out what the heck i'm wearing and get a move on. the store i'm interviewing at is about forty-five minutes away, when traffic isn't a bitch, and i need to stop and get gas in the car.

so, cross your fingers and your toes that i'll be employed within the next 72 hours.

will is coming home tonight. just for the weekend though. he's bringing home most of his crap though and just leaving enough stuff down there to live for 15 more days. and then he'll be a civilian again. of course, the Marines have a saying, once a Marine, always a Marine, and knowing will, civilian isn't a term that is in his vocabulary.

okay, i'm out, toodles ~

so, it's my second to last day

2005-11-03T11:51:00.000-05:00

so tomorrow is my last day ever as a target employee. i just don't even want to talk about it.

i interview tomorrow night at my mom's store for an overnight stock position. it would leave my days free to keep looking for something bigger and better. or, you know, whatever.

i have a shitload of stuff that needs to be shipped out from this weeks ebay sales so i need to get a move on with that and then get ready to head to work.

happy fucking thursday. ~ toodles

should be sleepin'

2005-11-01T23:48:00.000-05:00

i should so be sleeping right now. i am so tired, i've been up since four this morning and at that point i had only had about three hours of sleep. i spent most of the night looking for a job, filling out applications, tweaking my resume and sending them off to people in the hopes that someone will decide to hire me by friday.

i am going to work in the morning for a few hours but i'm leaving early to continue with the job search. i have an interview tomorrow shortly after noon so i decided that i'm going to go it, get the grocery order for next week done, train cris on how to do it so she can take care of it next week, and then i'm out of there. what are they gonna do, fire me?

oh wait, they already did that.

okay, i'm so done. i totally just misspelled my own friggin name on an application. i'm not going to get hired by making stupid mistakes on applications. i'm off to bed, don't want to be late in the morning ya know. ha ha ~ toodles

holy batshit!

2005-11-01T16:59:00.000-05:00

so batman down there fucked up my entire page and now i must go edit the hell out of the table-y thingy so that it all fits. pardon the mess.

i'm all about the bandwagon

2005-11-01T16:45:00.000-05:00

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0

check out travis and super suz to see who they are. good times. i love a goofball quiz.

so, i've applied for more jobs today than you can shake a stick at. well, you could shake a stick at them all if you wanted to, but then, what good would that do really?

just keep your fingers crossed that someone calls me as soon as humanly possible.

i went into to work this morning, on my day off, at the job from which i will officially be fired from on sunday, to work for an hour and a half to set my department transition. yeah, i'm a horrible worthless employee. i totally see it.

idiots.

the first episode of dog the bounty hunter tonight is new, yay. i love me some dog. so now i'm off to do some laundry and read my book and chill for a bit. my head is killing me but i know it's just stress so i'm hoping to decompress for a little bit and it should go away.

i also worked on my nano today as it's the first day of nanowrimo. i don't feel like linking it so just check the link out over there on the left. i haven't hit my total word goal for today, but i'm close and the day is not over yet.

daddy took down the halloween decorations this morning and is now outside installing new electrical outlets on the front of the house and testing his christmas lights. good times. it's the first time he's been into decorating for christmas the way he used to in four years. mama and i are both excited and taking this as a very good sign.

he used to love to decorate, the tackier the better he says, but when his cancer was diagnosed and he started chemo he wasn't able to do it anymore and he was in such a bad mood that he had a complete and total hissyfit when jeff and i came over to decorate the house for him. so there have been no outside decorations since 2001. yay for tacky christmas lights.

he swears he won't be plugging them in yet, he just wants to give himself plenty of time to move and adjust and buy more if he needs (read wants) to. whatever dude, as long as he's happy, mama and i are happy.

so, yeah, i'm out. toodles ~

it's a long story

2005-11-01T06:27:00.000-05:00

i will be spending the majority of the day today looking for a new job in hopes of being hired somewhere by the end of the week. if no one hires me, i totally get to sleep in on monday. and tuesday. and wednesday. and so on and so on. that would be bad.

i can't even begin to think of anything to write here

2005-10-30T22:36:00.000-05:00

i had this whole long entry in my head that i wanted to get out and now i'm just too mentally exhausted to talk about it.

let me just say that once again my entire life long list of things i've done to disappoint my parents was once again brought to my attention tonight. not only did my mom feel the need to remind me that i am a complete and utter disappointment, but she also decided that i needed to be reminded, again, of all of the things that she has done for me in the past decade, including all the money she has spent to help me.

basically i was told that they, my parents, feel that i don't love them at all and that i am just waiting for them to die so that i can collect the insurance money.

is it any fucking wonder i needed therapy?

my evil twin is awesome

2005-10-30T08:43:00.000-05:00

you are so my evil twin. you left your comment about what i could be for halloween and i sat down and opened my email and read it just as i was putting my "diamond" headband on the shelf above my desk.

i was totally a sim last night!

a very drunk and giggly sim as a matter of fact.

more later and i will post a picture of my headband one day this week too.

if i don't do this real quick i'll totally forget

2005-10-29T05:47:00.000-05:00

1. d.c.
2.
3.
4.
5. yes
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11. calvin and hobbes
12.
13.
14.
15.
16. big beautiful wombat, i mean, woman
17.
18.
19. the guy i went to high school with
20. yes
21.
22.
23. true
24.
25. b.

off to work. ~ toodles

blabbity blabbity

2005-10-28T19:07:00.000-05:00

so, that, pointing down, is not going to be my halloween costume after all. why? because after having it hanging on my closet door for a friggin month i finally got off my lazy ass and tried it on and totally didn't like it. so, the party is tomorrow night and i'm costume-less.

actually, i know what i want to do but i'm not telling in case i fuck it up or whatever. not that i think you guys are all on pins and needles waiting to see what i'm going to be for halloween.

i'm going to get sloshed tomorrow night and that's all that matters anyway. ~ toodles

i had breakfast for supper

2005-10-26T21:09:00.000-05:00

that, points up, is my halloween costume. it's not really what i wanted but a friend loaned it to me so i didn't have to buy one or try to come up with an idea or anything so, it's all good.

mostly, i'm dressing up and going to the party just in an effort to get out of my house and do something for a change. should be good times. last year we had a blast with the playing of beer pong and the getting shitfaced. the hangover at work the following day was not so good, but this year i have to close on the day after and i scheduled myself to come in at three so i have a little bit of extra time to get my shit together.

anyway, so, yeah, i'm still broke. my account is still overdrawn by more than i make in a month and there seems to be no end in sight. paypal and the bank are both blowing me off with the "14 to 21 days" thing. *shrugs* friday will be 14 days so we'll see where it goes from there.

i'm bored but not particularly tired. i think i may just pop a sleeping pill and hit the sack anyway. nothin' better to do. ~ toodles

not my day

2005-10-25T14:43:00.000-05:00

so, i'm out running errands today. i stopped and dropped the car insurance payment off and then went to the bank to drop off mama's car payment and to cash a money order someone sent me as payment for an ebay item.

so i'm at the bank and i tell the dude that my account is under investigation for fraud and my contact in the bank is the branch manager and i cashed two other money orders just this past saturday. so then he has to go get someone else to tell him whether or not it's okay to cash my money order since my account is overdrawn. so the chick tells me that she can't cash it for me because i'm overdrawn blah blah blah. and i'm like, i know, but my account is being investigated etc all over again. once again i explain that the branch manager is aware of the situation and i just cahsed two other money orders two days ago. she's like, well, i'm telling him to deposit the money order into your account.

whoa. hold up bitch. you do not deposit my only eight bucks in the world into my account without my permission. especially considering that said account is almost eight hundred dollars overdrawn because some asshat decided to help themselves to my money. i'm like, i do not want it deposited. and she's like, well we can't cash it. so i'm like, well give it back then. and she's like i already told him to deposit it. and i'm like, well tell him to STOP and give it back. so she sends me the money order back and she's like, the manager stepped out but she'll be back in about an hour, you're welcome to come inside and have a seat and wait for her. so i tell her as much as i would love to have a seat and wait for a friggin hour, unfortunately i have things to do so, um, no. and by the way, can i have my driver's license back please? so i send the little box back and they can't find my license. dude doesn't know what he did with it. WTF? so he finally finds it, he dropped it, and they send it back again offering to let me come inside and wait for an hour. no thank you, have a nice day.

so, i'm off to the post office. where like an idiot i place five shipments into priority envelopes without turning them inside out. duh. i'm shipping via media mail so i have to turn the priority envelopes inside out so that they don't say priority on the outside. and i forgot. 'cause i'm an idiot. so i head home and i'm about two miles away from the house when daddy calls me on my cell phone to tell me that i need to go back to the post office because my stuff is in the wrong envelopes.

so, i turn around and go all the way back to the post office where i wait in like for twenty minutes to get my packages. i have the correct envelopes and i'm just going to cut the shipping labels off of the wrong envelopes, put the stuff in the correct envelopes and tape the labels to the new envelopes. so i ask the lady if i can use her scissors and some tape and she's like, we have tape for sale right over there, we don't tape packages for our customers. so at that very moment the entire post office is silent, like it usually is, with the exception of the sound of ripping tape. we both look over and there are three tellers taping packages for their customers. i'm like, okay, well i'll just take them home, i have tape at home. she then proceeds to drop my packages in the floor and just stands there like a lump and looks down at them. so i say, oh, let me get those.

so i'm in the parking lot, getting in my car when this idiot is trying to drive out the wrong way and people keep honking at her and she's completely oblivious to the one way signs and the fact that all the parking spots are turned inward. anyway, so she finally figures it out and tries to turn into the parking spot next to my car so that she can turn around and go out the correct way. at this point she is appromately five feet from the entrance and if it had been me i'd have just kept on going. anyway, but it wasn't me, it was some idiot on her cell phone. so she somewhat manuvers into the parking spot next to me and proceeds to back out and turn to go in the correct direction when she hits my car.

i'm already not in a very good mood. so i get out of my car and she's about to drive off when i yell at her and walk in front of her car. she rolls down her window is like what? i'm like you just hit my car. she gives me a blank stare and is like what? so i figure maybe i need to slow it down for her a little. i look at her and say, you. and i point at her. just. hit. my. car. and then i point at my car. because. you. pointing at her again. are. an. idiot.

she didn't have much of a reply to that. lucky for us both there was no damage to my car. lucky for us both because if there had been i'd have probably pulled her out of her car window and ended up getting arrested.

so on the drive home i'm all mellow and actually laughing about the past hour i had. because, let's face it, it's funny. only i could have that kind of afternoon. so i get home and daddy asks me what happened at the post office so i start to tell him and the post office and the bank and so on and i'm laughing and he's being his typical asshole self and he keeps interrupting me to tell me to just tell him what happened without any details. wtf does that even mean? so then we end up having an arguement about that. then he comes in a few minutes later to apologize for getting on my nerves. ha ha. so i'm like, it's okay, it's just me. trying to just play it off and let it go because, really, it isn't his fault that he just doesn't GET IT.

then the mail comes and he brings me my mail which is a bill from the hospital from when i had to have stiches when bug bit me and he's like is that a bill? i thought you were going to pay that last month. how much do you owe them? and on and on and on and on and he just won't quit.

i'm about to hit my limit with him. i just can't stand it. everytime the phone rings he needs to know who it was and saying that it was for me isn't sufficient. who was it? what did they want? why are they calling you? are you late on your payment? do you owe money? blah blah blah blah. even if it's a personal fucking phone call from a friend or someone calling from work? are you late for work? (even if he knows it's my day off or if it's 10 at night) did you mess up at work today? what did they want? who is that? do i know them? (um, no, why would you?) and one and on and on and on until i feel like screaming at him to just shut up and mind his own goddamn business. i can't have a private fucking conversation in this entire house. and he complains that i never talk to him. duh. i don't talk to you because you don't listen and you're nosy and rude and belittling and mean and racist and obnoxious and i just can't stand it anymore so please shut up and leave me alone.

so i went from having a really shitty afternoon to laughing about it and feeling great to once again having a shitty afternoon only this time i'm in tears and i just want to crawl under the fucking covers and stay there until it's time to go to work in the morning.

still lovin' me some ebay

2005-10-25T09:32:00.000-05:00

so, when i went to bed last night i had 24 items listed for sale on ebay. all of my items were scheduled to end within the next seven hours and only three items were selling. when i woke up this morning, eleven of my items had sold and half of them had already been paid for. good times. so now i need to get my butt in gear and get to the post office with these seven packages so that they can go out asap. yay. i still love me some ebay. despite the fact that some people in the world are grade A bastards. toodles ~

hot damn

2005-10-23T22:54:00.000-05:00

holy shit, i'm linked by the wonderful, fantabulous, sexy, fellow virginian chickpea!

just not feelin' the blog lately

2005-10-23T22:38:00.000-05:00

so, we got a new modem on friday. dude said the old one was on its last leg. the new one is like tiny compared to the old one. it's smaller than the boxes mickey d's put their burgers in. anyway, so my internet woes have been corrected.

i've been back on the crack lately. the sims 2 is one of the greatest pass times ever. except that it literally causes time to pass without you even realizing it. but it rocks and i have a neighborhood populated entirely with couples made up of myself and hot dudes. i realize that that is extremely sad, but, seeing as i'm not doing any woohoo in real life, it's nice to have a sim-me who is getting some.

that last sentence alone summed up my entire pathetic existence.

i went to my friend jen's daughter's cheering competition today. this is the squad that i used to coach years ago. not the exact same squad of course, as i coached like before most of these girls were born, but anyway. so it was cool. i haven't been to a cheering competition in years and i love it. there is just such a great exhilerating atmosphere. i may end up coaching again next year. i have to wait and see and "interview" with the association but being as my dad was the longest ever running association president and my mom was the longest running ever association secretary and the current association peeps wish my folks would come back, i probably won't have much trouble.

so, yeah, i have to go back to work tomorrow. *sigh* but i'm off again on tuesday so it's not all bad. plus, my boss is on vacation this week. so that's awesome. of course, technically i have like seven other bosses but it's all good.

i never did tell ya'll about the wine festival and all that but i once again just don't feel like it at the moment. i had a blast. i was a totaly carytown virgin which astounded my friends and they were all thrilled to be with me when, and i quote, "popped my carytown cherry." we ate tai food sitting on a curb and drank some really nasty wine whilst being surrounded by a ton of wine snobs and drunks and then decided to just wander and window shop. we did hit some awesome shops. the vintage furniture was by far my favorite, natch. and then we had ice cream at bev's and headed back the way we came. all in all, it was one of the best days i've had in, oh i don't know, ten years or so. lol it totally ranked way up there with catching a movie with the super suz.

um, yeah, so it's almost midnight now and i need to get my happy ass to bed. i already took my sleeping pill and based on the number of typos i'm having to go back and fix, it's starting to kick in.

toodles ~

1,667 words per day for 30 days

2005-10-18T21:43:00.000-05:00

so, nanowrimo is once again upon us. you may have noticed my participant button over on the left side of your screen. i have not previously mentioned it because of my spectacular failure to complete my novel last year. last year brandon told me that he didn't think i'd finish it and even though i really wanted to prove him wrong, i didn't. granted for about half of the month i was sitting either in the icu waiting room or in my grandma's cubicle in the icu, watching her pass away in front of my eyes. so, yeah, not really condusive to writing.

so, this year i am trying again. last year i didn't do much prep work, i didn't have an outline or anything. this year i already have my character list worked out, along with their complete bios, as well as an entire outline. i still have a few bugs to work out on the outline, but i should be ready to go come nov 1. we'll see.

so, i really do have to tons to talk about, but, i'm not feeling it. i haven't been on much in the past week mainly because our internet service has been acting wonky. actually, i think our modem is putzing out. but you know, trying to get the cable company to actually come out and fix something is damn near impossible. "i have a tech available to come out on friday, between the hours of 2 a.m. and 11 p.m., that is, friday seventy-two weeks from now however."

so, i have clothes to finish drying so that i will have something to wear to work tomorrow and a book about the green river killer to read. i'm out. toodles ~

pity party for one

2005-10-16T06:08:00.000-05:00

so, yeah, i'm feeling sorry for myself.

i'm totally aware that i'm doing it. i know it's unhealthy and it won't solve anything nor will it help me get to the bottom of things and get my money refunded. so, i'm giving myself until i get off of work to get the fuck over myself. yesterday at work i didn't think about things at all, i was just too busy, so i'm mostly hoping that perhaps that might also be the case today.

reguardless, come three'o'clock this afternoon, the pity party is over.